Monday, March 3, 2014

homestretch. I can get through this.

Brace yourself for more gushing about a certain awesome violinist and friend. If it weren't for her, I have no idea where I'd be at this point. I certainly wouldn't have survived the despair during the fall semester as well as I did (and sometimes it almost pulled me under). However, there's a second victim this week.

Monday: Back to the grind. When I had a look on Sunday evening at what I had to do for the coming week, I saw that there were some readings that needed to be done for the next day, so I dug in. I continued reading on Monday, went to class and then finished the readings afterward.

Tuesday: We had a field trip to the Mount Saint Vincent University Art Gallery to view their current show, which we're to write a gallery review on. If my numbers are correct, this will be show review number five for me.

Lynn replied to an email that I sent over the break. In a postscript I'd said that I want to call her once the semester's over and I'm home because of what I've been through and the resulting need to have a good, long conversation with her. While there are a few issues to resolve as to what form the conversation's going to take (I wouldn't be surprised if we go the Skype route), THIS THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

I spent my appointment with Joan telling her about my break. It was also an extension of my last blog post, in that I gushed about a certain awesome friend (not the first time). As I said during the appointment in between howls of laughter, "Lynn, stop being so awesome! No, I take that back--don't stop!"

Wednesday: That day I hit a point where I couldn't wait for the semester to be over (probably my exhaustion speaking). I had another run-in with the person with whom I haven't been getting along, and let's just say that that conversation with Lynn can't come soon enough, and for a few days I kept thinking, "just a few more weeks and you'll be out of here. You'll be free. Hang in there. And remember: once this is over, YOU GET TO HAVE A NICE BIG DOSE OF LYNN'S CALM, GENTLENESS, KINDNESS AND OVERALL AWESOMENESS!" I reminded myself of that when I started to worry. Once again, Lynn was the main one keeping me going, simply by being in my life (thank you). I've decided that that call will officially mark the beginning of the healing process, because if I can start it awesomely, I will.

You know I'm almost done my degree when you start to hear about my post-school plans: figure out how to repurpose this blog, finish The Book and heal from what I've been through with the help of an awesome friend (and yes, get a job, start paying off the loan ASAP--I'm not waiting six months, as the interest will start piling up as soon as my study period ends on May first--start really getting my name out there as a photographer and update my website--it's needed an update since I started at NSCAD, but I haven't had or made the time to get it done--I'm estimating at least two afternoons of going through my projects, selecting the ones that are possibilities, whittling them down to a final selection and then resizing and posting those images).

Since I heard this song for the first time, in 2006 when AndrĂ© Rieu recorded it on his New York Memories album, it has always made me think of Lynn. I hadn't listened to it in several years, but I dug it out that evening. Like I said last week, I think everyone should have a friend like her: someone to whom they can go with everything, from excitement to despair.

Thursday: I got my Twentieth-Century Art exam back, and... I bombed it. As I told Jayne, I haven't done this poorly since FVA. I wasn't thrilled. Jayne suggested taking the course again, but that isn't an option: after five years of college and university, I'm champing at the bit to finish, which she understood.

As was the case after Christmas break, I was running on fumes by that day--especially since I only got about four hours of sleep the night before, which is half of what I need in order to function (don't want to think about it, don't want to think about it...).

Friday: I spent the day reading and working on my independent project. ...and had yet another run-in with the person with whom I haven't been getting along. Yep, the semester can't end soon enough. Ugh.

Though I will say that not only do I want it to be over because of what I've been through, I want it to be over because this year I finally hit the point where I was ready to be done with school (for a while: I haven't ruled out the possibility of a B.Ed. in art education).

Saturday: Mom shared this to my FB timeline that morning. Needless to say, I have to see the whole documentary--and given what I've been through, a little Mister Rogers, whose show I grew up on, is just what I need right now (again, calm, gentle, kind--I'm noticing a theme here. I know what I need in order to survive the rest of the semester and then recover.). Roughly seventeen years after I stopped watching the show five days a week every week, I'm still a devoted fan and I respect that man and his work deeply.

I spent the afternoon and evening reading and writing--and listening to the Met perform Prince Igor (which just happened to be simulcast #75). I remember when the BSO performed the Polovtsian Dances a few seasons ago (I believe it was in the season finale). I choreographed the piece, and spent almost the entire season wrestling with a particular violin part, which was incredibly frustrating, but I eventually figured out some choreography that worked.

That night, I found episode one (at least on NET, the forerunner of PBS--the show originated on CBC in '63) of what was then known as MisteRogers' Neighborhood, something that I'd wanted to see for years. Part one and part two (which, sadly, is incomplete). It's interesting seeing what's changed and what's stayed the same since that episode aired on February nineteenth, 1968 (wow). By the way, my favourite person on that show (besides Mister Rogers), Betty Aberlin, is now seventy-one--she's been on the show since the beginning. In case you're wondering, my favourite puppet has always been Queen Sara (pic here). I'm glad I watched that show when I was little: it's one of those shows that you never forget and that, even when you're twenty-five and it's been off the air (at least officially) since 2008, the last episode having originally aired in 2001, you can still hunt down on YouTube and other video streaming sites and seek comfort in. It's the only show that I watched as a kid and have returned to years later. J.K. Rowling has said that "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home"--well, I think there should be a phrase like that for the Neighborhood, as that's how I feel about it: I've grown up, I watch other shows, that one has been off the air for six years, Mister Rogers has been dead for eleven years--but I still feel that it's home and that I can return whenever the heck I want, thanks to the internet and video-sharing sites like YouTube (sorry it's so repetitive--but I feel so strongly about that show and about Mister Rogers that I'm not going to change it).

Wherever you are, thank you, Mister Rogers.

Sunday: I found this on the CBC Music Facebook page. Brace yourself: the first movement of Beethoven's fifth--in a major key, which sounds downright weird.

I spent the afternoon and evening writing the take-home exam for Contemporary Indigenous Arts, which is due today (again, essay form--but this time I could flip through the course pack instead of trying to pull facts out of my head, which will hopefully result in a higher grade than what I got for Twentieth-Century Art). I'm still working on it, in fact. After five years of college and university, my time-management skills should be better than this...

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