The hell continues--but there is some hope in the form of encouragement and comfort from a few friends.
Monday: That day was extremely quiet: I surprised myself by not saying one word to anyone--only whispered mutters to myself. I plugged away at schoolwork while curled up in bed.
Tuesday: I did some grocery shopping and went to my first Feminist Collective meeting, which was fairly uneventful and only lasted for half an hour.
Wednesday: As usual, the morning was devoted to discussing the week's reading. The afternoon was a working class, and I spent it editing photos and finalizing my schedule for the next half of the semester, as it was that day that I realized just how much stuff needs to get done between now and the end of the semester.
Thursday: Once again, I planned to do homework, but nothing got done. I paid the internet/phone bill and went to the Queer Collective meeting. Said meeting was extremely uneventful, as only three people, including me, showed up.
Friday: Yet another resurfacing of the problems I'm dealing with. Once again, it was incredibly painful. I spent the day at school. Partway through the afternoon I shared what I'm currently going through with a former classmate, Becky, and for the first time I had someone who not only listened but who held me when I cried, which I desperately needed.
Saturday: I spent that day at school, too, working on stuff for APC. I also emailed Lynn, telling her about everything that's going on and making my life a living hell. On my way home, I checked out a few Nocturne events.
Sunday: I usually check my email and Facebook first thing, and this time there was a reply from Lynn. I skimmed a bit of it before doing chores, getting dressed and once again going to school, where I actually read the email, which was about as wonderful as my talk with Becky (no surprise--Lynn's seen me hit bottom a couple times before, and talking or emailing with her always makes me feel at least a tiny bit better). She not only comforted and encouraged me, but offered some tips (I know what I need to do in this situation, but it's something that I've never had to do before).
I spent the rest of the day editing photos, finishing the reading for this week and writing a reply to Lynn.
A week or so ago, I discovered a new piece on Trond's website: the third movement from Grieg's third violin sonata, which is pretty awesome and I think everyone should check it out. Click here and scroll down to the bottom of the audio tracks. The one that I'm currently obsessed with is the second from the bottom of that list. Enjoy and you're welcome. Also, as a result of this, Trond's CD Hika (which that track is from) is now on my Christmas wish list. It'd be nice to have a studio recording of his, anyway.