a love of learning

As I said in my last post (which was #100, by the way--for comparison, at the two-year mark when I was writing my previous blog, by this time I'd written over three hundred posts), this year will be my last year at NBCCD. **sniffle** So I'm starting to piece together what I might want to do post-college.

I remember when I "graduated" from homeschooling in '06. Back then, I had no idea what I wanted to be "when I grew up"--I didn't even know if I wanted to go to college or university. In terms of education, for at least two of the three years between graduation and starting FVA (congratulations on Week One, Class of '12!), I had no idea what I wanted to do in terms of a career and post-secondary education (PSE). I was very confused. Eventually, though, I started drifting towards wanting to be a photographer, and I applied to NBCCD as a mature student (I don't have my GED because in order to take the test I'd need high-school-level math, which I don't have since I don't plan on going into engineering, architecture, or anything else that would require more than grade-eight-level math). While I had no choice but to wait three years, I'm glad that I didn't go to college until '09, because by then I knew what I wanted to do (or at least, I was forming some ideas).

And up until about three-quarters of the way through the '10-'11 school year, I wasn't too keen on university. College, yes, but not university (remember: in Canada, colleges don't grant degrees unless they're within a university--like UNB's College of Extended Learning and Renaissance College, which is UNB's leadership studies program. When I graduate, I'll have a diploma.). But over the course of this past school year, I've warmed to the idea of going to university. I've started to truly fall in love with learning, and after I finish at NBCCD, I want to keep learning. As a homeschooler, I've grown up with the message that I'm always learning--not just when I'm doing school-related work. So what I mean is, I want to keep learning in an academic setting.

I'm still working out what I want to do for a career. I know I want to do something in photography, and I have to do something that's deliberately creative--I know that I wouldn't be happy stuck in a controlled, predictable lighting studio doing, for example, product photography (the studio's cool and fun, but I also need a certain level of unpredictability when I'm creating something)--but other than that, I'm still figuring out how I'm going to make this artist thing work. As the daughter of an artist, I've grown up surrounded by art, and the knowledge of how difficult the biz is. And some media are more difficult to get into than others--fashion is extremely difficult and competitive to get into. So unless you're really lucky, you have to do many different things, and I'm finally starting to realize that for myself (after my parents tried to hammer it into me for the last few years--but no matter what Mom says, I'm probably not going to do that much commercial work, though I want to try my hand at weddings--yes, really, Tom).

The first option (that didn't involve commercial photography) that was brought to my attention was writing. I remember one of my assessments last year, I sat down--and the next thing I knew, Peter was talking about my writing and how good it is. Until this year, I hadn't realized just how much I enjoy writing (though I knew I enjoyed sitting down and writing a good long email to a friend), and I've come to realize just how much I like putting down words on a piece of paper (physical or electronic), and in fact, until this year I hated writing for school: every time Mom gave me an essay to write, it would take forever for me to finish the darn thing.

In the last few months, I've been thinking more and more about what I might like to do post-NBCCD. At first I considered a BFA at Mt. Allison University in Sackville, NB. But since their photography program is all-film, that idea is out (even though I love film). The Nova Scotia College of Art and Design University (NSCAD, which I considered briefly around the time that I applied to NBCCD) was out almost immediately, due to their approach to art which, although it's a worthwhile approach, just wouldn't be me. While I could probably handle the avant-garde approach, and might even find it interesting (I love different and unusual), the art = money/commercial aspect of that university would probably send me running the other way. Yes, you need to be able to put food on the table, but I don't believe that money should be the main thing that's driving your creative process--passion should.

Another option that I've been eyeing is a B.Ed in art education at the University of New Brunswick. This past spring, when I was going home one weekend, a friend who was doing FVA at the time showed me a contact sheet she'd developed, and she thought that she would have to re-shoot the roll. I had a look at it and said that she probably didn't give the contact sheet enough time in the enlarger--another five to ten seconds should do it. And also check the filter--I normally use either a #2.5 or a #3. As Mom and I walked out afterwards, Mom said that I'd make a good teacher: I know a lot of stuff, and I like sharing my knowledge. I've been thinking about that ever since, and getting a degree in education has been looking more and more tempting. And in case you're wondering where I'd be interested in teaching, I'm thinking NBCCD (either FVA or the photo studio), or possibly summer courses at Sunbury Shores in St. Andrews.

I had a look at the faculty of education page on UNB's website yesterday, and if I wanted to do a B.Ed there, I'd have to get another bachelors degree first.

Which brings me to yet another post-NBCCD option: BFA in photography. While Mt. A. is officially a no-go, while reading an article about a show at the Beaverbrook Art Gallery, I came across yet another school: Concordia University in Montreal. Here's some of what they say about their photography studio:

"Photographic facilities include: Hi-end computers, a drum scanner, two virtual drum scanners plus negative and flatbed scanners, 44" inkjet printers and other smaller printers. Facilities also include a colour darkroom with 20 colour enlargers, 30" and 40" colour processors and print viewing area, 18 black and white enlargers, a large print darkroom and finishing area, and two studios. The facilities also have portable photographic equipment: cameras including digital 4 x 5 and 6 x 7, and accessories including electronic flash kits, soft boxes, tripods, light metres and other items."

**swoon** You know you're a photographer when you get excited about a forty-four-inch inkjet printer (NBCCD's is twenty inches narrower) and large-format digital cameras (those would be the 4x5's and 6x7's). Note that Concordia teaches both film and digital. The fact that Mt. A. doesn't really do a lot of digital is why it got kicked off the list of possible schools. I'm passionate as heck about film (I own four cameras, and two of those are film cameras), want to learn more about the medium, and dream of setting up my own darkroom at some point after I graduate next year, but if I want to make money using my camera (and I do), I pretty much have to know digital.

Oh, and CU also has an art education degree, though it's a BFA (Art Education--Visual Arts).

I have to admit that sometimes I feel a bit hesitant to say anything when I discover something related to higher education that I might be interested in. Mostly I think it has to do with money, and I know that I'm going to have to take at least a year off post-NBCCD, get a job, and save up if I want to go on and do a BFA/B.Ed. ...or if I want to go back to NBCCD and do a Graduate Studies certificate (which used to be the Advanced Diploma, and has changed over the summer).

I spent today packing and loading stuff into Mom's Highlander, and I'm totally wiped. Tomorrow, I'll do a last-minute dash, packing stuff like my hairbrush, pyjamas and bedside-table clock. I plan to do some minor shopping on Tuesday (must. get. cocoa.--preferably organic and/or fair-trade), and my first class will be on Wednesday morning. Even better: said first class will be a PHOTOSHOP CLASS!!!! NBCCD, you totally know the way to my heart. I'll have a lighting class that afternoon.

March Break

I spent March Break as I'd planned: being lazy (I spent most of last Saturday and Sunday in bed), doing homework (I just finished off a roll of film this afternoon and will drop it off at Harvey Studios before going to class on Monday afternoon), hanging out my parents, cooking, listening to opera (Rossini's Armida last weekend, with Renée Fleming in the title role--brava!--and Mussorgsky's Boris Godunov today), grocery shopping, reworking the week-by-week plan for my independent study project (originally I hadn't planned to shoot photos for it, and I'd forgotten that the first week of the project was the week before March Break), finishing my Photoshop homework, doing a résumé blitz in St. Andrews, and writing. I also won the lottery (I won twenty bucks today--not much, but it's the first time I've won anything. I bought the ticket in F'ton before going to class the Friday before March Break.).

Today was the encore simulcast of Nixon in China at the Empire Theatre in F'ton. I thought about getting tickets for it, but I'm glad I didn't, since I'm an hour-and-a-half away right now.

In the early hours of Wednesday morning I made the serious mistake of checking my Blogger Reading List before going to bed: since there was a "new" (written last Sunday, but I hadn't read it yet) blog post by WhiteFeather, I just had to read it. She's moving closer to ditching the music in Fantasmagorie. While I think that the movie is strong enough to stand on it's own and doesn't need the music, if she does get rid of the music, the music should either be used for something else or released as a separate work, because except for the breathing the piece is too beautiful to scrap.

One of my friends who's currently in FVA posted a Facebook status a few days ago saying that she's submitted her portfolio and application for the diploma program (she hopes to get into photography). In light of that, I want to take the opportunity to once again cheer on the FVA Class of '11: I want to wish those who are applying for the diploma program the very best, and I hope that you get into the studio you've been eyeing for the last few months. Applying is unbelievably nerve-wracking, and I will never forget it: choosing what to submit (I still have the list that I made of everything that I wanted to submit and where those things were), finding those things (if your room isn't as messy as mine was, congratulations--FVA year and small bedrooms do not mix), prepping said things (taking photos of stuff from Design and Creative Process for example--thanks for the help, Drew), filling out the submission form, putting it all together--and then taking it to the registrar. And then taking a deep breath--and fidgeting with nervousness about whether or not I got into my first choice--or whether or not I got into the diploma program at all (I was rather concerned about that--my GPA at the end of FVA was around 2.25, and my marks were really dismal in 2D and 3D Design and Creative Process).

But in May I finally got a letter from the community college (not from NBCCD) congratulating me on getting into the diploma program. As soon as I read it I started laughing and crying because I was so indescribably happy. Just over two weeks later I got my FVA certificate (I didn't go to the graduation ceremony--I fully intend to go to the one in 2012, though), my transcript, and a note from Peter--who, along with talking about what would be needed for the coming year (like a laptop--Mac preferably--with as much RAM as possible), wasted no time in acquainting his future students with his sense of humour (which is awesome).

Since the Bangor Symphony Orchestra will play Beethoven's second symphony tomorrow, I thought I'd include a movement from that work. It's not my favourite symphony--I prefer the sound that Beethoven started to develop with the third symphony (the Eroica), and which continued to grow and change until his death. Even though Beethoven was always thinking a few steps ahead of his time, the second symphony still feels very tame--especially when compared with something like the third, which right from the first movement (allegro con brio--fast with vigor) is very Beethoven in terms of how he constructs the melody. But it's not surprising: he studied with Joseph Haydn, and for the first few years of Beethoven's composing career Haydn's style clearly influenced Beethoven's (he didn't start to go off on his own until the Eroica).

The second symphony was written largely in 1802, which was a very dark time in his life: he was going deaf (he wrote the Heiligenstadt Testament that year--BTW, it's a very good read: yes, it's long, all one paragraph, and, as I recall, is made up of only three sentences--which makes it feel even longer--but it gives the reader a glimpse into what Beethoven's life was like and what it was like to be him at that time), and when I did some research into what else went on that year, the Testament and his deafness are pretty much all that come up. However, he also wrote three piano sonatas (nos. 16-18, op. 31), the Seven Bagatelles for Piano, op. 33, Six Variations on an Original Theme (piano), op. 34 and Fifteen Variations and a Fugue for Piano on an Original Theme ("Eroica" Variations), op. 35.

Where I got all this info (a.k.a. the bibliography):

Article about Beethoven's second symphony on Wikipedia (dissects the different movements, as well as talking about the history behind it)
Article about Beethoven's second symphony on All About Beethoven
Life of Beethoven PowerPoint Presentation
List of compositions

You've been waiting long enough: here's the video I promised earlier. The fourth (and final) movement (allegro) of Beethoven's second symphony. Dedicated to the BSO, and the musicians that make up the orchestra--especially the violinists. Now, BSO, go be awesome--especially you guys in the violin section.

anyone up for a Last Class Bash, NBCCD-style?

I go home on Tuesday. Yes, really. Last year I went home a whole week early and this year, because things were organized better, I thought I would have to stay in F'ton until the seventeenth. But that's the day when the teachers are supposed to have their marks in, so many of my teachers pushed their assessments for my classes to this past week--and three finished classes the week before. The only assessments I have this coming week are combined assessments for Photo History/Communication for Visual Artists (Monday at 1:30) and Lighting: Available Light and On-Camera FlashTech/Photographic Digital Imaging (Tuesday, also at 1:30). And then I'm FREE until January fourth, 2011. Mom will pick me up after my last assessment.

I still have a couple of assignments to finish for Communications and Digital Imaging, but I'm not worried--Tom and I worked on the layout for my CV this morning, and I have to add some stuff to my Communications blog and finish Digital Imaging some point before my assessment.

Besides schoolwork I'm going to be busy writing cards (four of 'em, to be mailed on Monday), helping a classmate with an assignment for Communications, baking a surprise for my studio, and sleeping in (the usual).

As I mentioned earlier I had some of my assessments this past week, so here's what went down:

Monday: Although I didn't have an assessment, I did go to a potluck that evening at Karen's apartment. I arrived really early, but got to help set up. Her place is stuffed to the gills with awesome artwork, including two pieces by Adam MacDonald (him again...), which really excited me.

Wednesday: Creativity in Photography assessment: Remember those meetings that I had with Adam this past spring? Well, turns out I've still got work to do to free myself from the old ideas that have held me back for years. Although I do take a lot of closeup photos and try to abstract the subjects, my style is still very realist and what I see on the camera screen is what I use as the end product (I try to make the colours as accurate as possible). When I was little anything went: if I wanted to wear colours that clashed, so be it. If I wanted to paint in a way that would destroy the brush over time, go for it. But as I got older, like many people, I settled into what I considered "safe" (without realizing it) and I was afraid to venture out beyond that rut that I got myself into. Last year it started to catch up with me, and although I'm trying to undo the old ideas, it's about as easy as playing something by Paganini. In other words: it's extremely difficult. However, NBCCD is one of the best places in the world to unlearn the ideas that are holding me back.

Thursday: History: Although my assessment won't be until Monday (History/Communications combo), this one is significant. Most of us hadn't done our final presentations last week, so this class ended up being (hold onto your seat) FOUR HOURS LONG. But it was okay--we even got to have a pizza party due to the fact that we went straight through lunch. I'm very happy with my presentation on Julia Margaret Cameron: it went smoothly (unlike my last powerpoint that was based on an essay--ugh) and I covered a lot of ground--including hunting down info on the collodian process because I'm a "how did they do that" junkie and like to find out the process behind a work of art or a technique. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm so into photography: you've got everything from daguerrotypes all the way up to today's digital photos that have been enhanced in Photoshop.

Film and Darkroom Techniques/Photoshop: Tools and Techniques assessment: Since Drew teaches both classes, he, like Karen and Rod, decided to combine assessments for those classes. I've only seen marks for his classes, and I have As in both. But although seeing the mark is really cool (especially with my dismal marks last year), in the diploma program the grades are just letters and numbers: outside of NBCCD, no one's going to look at my GPA, which Drew stressed. What matters is whether I'm producing quality work and am learning what I'm supposed to learn (check and check). (Grades matter like you wouldn't believe in FVA: if they're dismal the chances of getting into the diploma program are slim.)

Yesterday I didn't have classes, due to Photoshop finishing last week (hello, sleeping in), but I still went to school because due to the fact that I won a scholarship and will only have to pay a few hundred bucks in January (NBCCD maybe cheaper than a lot of schools, but it's still expensive), I was invited to a small, informal ceremony with my fellow winners (various scholarships) and some of the staff (Drew was taking photos) in the library at noon. After that I spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework in the small computer lab.

I also talked with Peter about doing more darkroom work. Drew mentioned in his assessment that Film and Darkroom Techniques is the only film course the college currently offers (unlike Mount Allison University: their photography program is still a hundred per cent film), but I decided that I'd talk with Peter before giving up. He said that in the second year of the diploma there are four independent study projects, which would be the perfect opportunity for me to learn more about film and the darkroom. But don't worry: I'm still in love with digital. It's just that I'd never truly realized how cool film is. And maybe I could combine the old technology with the new.

I fell head-over-heels in love with the darkroom when I did the Photography Media Explorations in FVA this past spring, and now love it about as much as the MOO's horn section or the BSO's violin section. In fact, I'm considering making my own darkroom: Tom still has his old equipment, and I might convert a room in the house (the guest bathroom, perhaps?) into a darkroom (if it's the guest bathroom I'll have to have a look at the fan situation: it's powerful enough for everyday use, but since I'd be dealing with chemicals that aren't exactly healthy, I'd want to see about improving it--especially if I'm developing photos in the middle of January and don't want to open the two windows--brrrrrrrrr...).

I don't think I mentioned this, but NBCCD is considering scrapping their darkroom. The colour one is already gone, leaving the black and white darkroom--and unless the students speak up, it will be history, too. I don't know how much time we have left, but it's not long. When my classmates and I were filling out the evaluation forms for our classes, some (if not all) of us used the one for Film and Darkroom Techniques to say how much we love the darkroom and want the college to keep it. I'd be really upset if I came in and found that the darkroom was no longer there.

Because the BSO's Nutcracker Weekend is next weekend and I've got that ballet on the brain, here's one of my favourite pieces: Journey to the Land of Snow, a.k.a. A Pine Forest in Winter. Enjoy. And GO VIOLINS!!!!



Remember the video that I posted last week of the MOB's recording sessions for their latest CD? Well, I found a full-orchestra version of the Polonaise from Christmas Eve. I admit that I prefer the MOB's version (those darn French horns. Also: the ending's a bit different.), but it's still really cool. And even in the orchestral version the brass section gets a pretty strong part. No wonder the MOB wanted to include it on the CD.

One week until the Met's first radio broadcast of the season (Verdi's Don Carlo)!!!! GO MET OPERA ORCHESTRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!




PS: Last Class Bash is UNB's celebration of the last classes on the weekend before final exams start. There's one at the end of the fall semester and another at the end of the spring semester.