the fun of midterms

The fun keeps happening. **sarcasm** Also, midterms. **gulp**

Monday: I got bus tickets on the way to school. This will be my final time doing so to come home for break.

Tuesday: A friend with whom I hadn't been getting along with for a long time and I finally sat down and talked--and she told me that she has breast cancer. The tumour's pretty big, and she doesn't know whether or not she'll survive. I sobbed through much of our talk, I felt so bad for her. She choked up a couple times, too, but didn't turn into a complete mess, unlike me.

After my appointment with Joan, I spent the day doing homework and that night I snapped. After what I went through last semester, Stan's death and now this, I'd had enough and I became furious with the gods.

Wednesday: I emailed Lynn late-Tuesday/early-Wednesday and exploded, taking out a lot of my rage and fear on her (though I made it clear that said rage wasn't directed at her: I was angry with the gods, having gone through so much over the last few months and I'd finally reached my breaking point, as I think of this in the context of the entire year). That night I would've been happy to find an empty room somewhere and let loose and scream and yell until I couldn't anymore.

These pieces describe how I felt perfectly. Brace yourself. If you've seen Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, you might recognize the first one.



During my first lesson with my full-size violin (September 10, 2001), Lynn played this piece on said violin--and I fell in love with the composition immediately. Since then, it has been a piece that I turn to when I need something that I know will comfort me. Thanks, Lynn!







And this one pretty much sums it all up:



Thursday: My afternoon class was canceled because Carla was sick so I used the time to get a head-start on my weekend homework load and run some errands.

Friday: As promised back in the summer, I spent the day listening to Tchaikovsky while finishing the readings for Contemporary Indigenous Arts.

Saturday: On the way to school, I noticed that Halifax had raised the gay pride flag in the Grand Parade. I stopped and took some photos (the one below is from today)--and suspected that it was a show of solidarity with the LGBT community in Russia. Turns out, I was right. When I googled it, I found out that Fredericton and Moncton have also raised the pride flag at their city halls (go New Brunswick!). I have no words for how excited I felt when I saw the flag in Halifax. Now, whenever I pass the Grand Parade on my way to or from school, I look at the flag and smile: pride flags and rainbows in general make me happy, but pride flags being raised in solidarity with Russia's LGBT community, which many Canadian cities are doing, make me even happier (shut up, Rob Ford).

I missed the live broadcast of Rusalka (the story reminds me of Anderson's The Little Mermaid)--so I listened to it in Mountain Time, which, on CBC at least (I don't know about other networks in other countries), meant that it wasn't live. As I'd expected, Song to the Moon was spectacular.



I'd planned to do the first shoot for my independent project that evening, but the guy who was supposed to pose is sick so we rescheduled for this coming week ('tis the season).

While waiting for my laundry that evening I finally started turning this blog into a book using Blurb BookSmart. I'd tried a few times using BookSmart's blog-to-book feature, but it always stalled after importing my photos. I finally decided to give up on that method and copy and paste the text myself, post by post. I'm finding BookSmart clunky and slow (seriously, Blurb??), but at least I'm able to start work on my dream. I'm looking at a trade-size hardcover book with full-colour photos. Based on what I've done so far (up to Christmas break '09), I'm looking at about a two hundred page book and around 100,000 words(!)--not bad for five years of college and university. My current plan is to copy the posts that I wrote during the school year and possibly the posts that I wrote during the summer breaks. Some of the summer posts are referenced in posts written during the school year (e.g., the posts that I wrote as I figured out how I was going to approach the Sochi Games). I also want to do a table of contents, which will be interesting. Between this and more study of the Nutcracker conductors' score (can't wait!), reading week will fly by.

Sunday: I spent much of the day writing and stressing about midterms (seriously, my time management skills should be better than this by now). BTW, I only have two midterms to worry about right now: the one for Topics in Modern Canadian Art isn't until after the break.

PPS

I've been thinking even more about my personal boycott of the Olympics (maybe overthinking, but I don't care--it's my first time consciously ignoring the Games). I may keep an eye on if and how the anti-"gay propaganda" law is put into effect--for example, some athletes have pledged to wear rainbow pins during the Games. Would they be arrested for doing so? Though I'll try to stay away from official broadcasters (CBC, NBC, BBC, etc.).

PS

While I'm not in favour of moving the Olympics back to Vancouver (sorry, George Takei--while I agree with him that action must be taken, finding accommodations for that many people and making other arrangements when Vancouver hasn't planned for it and would have only five-and-a-bit months to do so just isn't practical, even though the athletic facilities are there), I am in favour of a boycott, like what happened the last time Russia hosted the Games (Moscow, 1980). Yes, it would suck for the athletes and some might not get another chance at Olympic glory, but if it could happen in '76, '80 and '84, it can happen in '14.

losing faith in the Olympics one nutty move at a time

For the first time since I started watching the Olympics in '98 (Nagano), I will be completely ignoring the Games come February.

Russia recently passed a law that makes "promoting" homosexuality (e.g., waving a Pride flag) illegal, which in turn makes it dangerous for gay and lesbian athletes. For a while it looked like the athletes and spectators would be exempt from that law, but then the Kremlin backtracked: just because you're a guest who's competing here or watching the Games doesn't mean that you can wave that Pride flag. What makes it worse is that the IOC intends to do nothing.

Looking back through the history of the Games, though, I'm not surprised. My favourite example is the 1936 Berlin Games. While Berlin won the bid two years before Hitler came to power, the IOC did nothing--the Games went ahead as planned and Hitler tried to use them as a way to showcase the supposed superiority of white-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde-haired people, though that didn't quite work out. By still letting Sochi host the Games, the IOC is giving Russia (which doesn't exactly have a great human rights record) the go-ahead to validate the country's beliefs.

What also drives me nuts is Team USA's reaction: "While we strongly support equal rights for all, our mission is sustained competitive excellence and our focus will be to deliver a well prepared team and to put our athletes in a position to be the best they can be." In other words, winning is more important than equal rights and the safety of gay team members.

As mentioned earlier, the IOC's current plan is to do nothing--but by doing nothing they are complacent in Russia's actions. They're saying it's okay to beat people to a pulp just because of who they love and to deny them the right to said love. These are not just gay rights--they're human rights.

Over the years, I've become more aware of the issues surrounding the Games: who the sponsors are behind their glitzy façades, what actually happens to make the Games happen (people being told to move--which, sadly, seems to happen a lot when the Olympics come to town, and naturally the poor are the ones who are affected the most--spending money on the Games that would be better spent eradicating things like poverty, etc.). I fully support the ideals of the Games--but I don't support what actually happens and who benefits (the corporations, even more than the athletes). It's enough to drive me up the wall.

...as does Russia's anti-gay propaganda law. We all deserve to be allowed to love who we love and to say, "hey, I'm proud of who I am" without the fear that we'll be thrown in jail for displaying that pride or kissing or holding hands with our partner, regardless of the partner's sex. I've never wanted to go to Russia, but I want to go even less since this law came into effect. As someone who is definitely not straight (I currently identify as an asexual lesbian, though I'm living proof that sexual orientation is fluid), I would not feel safe in that country, even if I wasn't wearing anything with the gay pride colours on it (as a matter of fact, I bought my first gay and asexual pride pins this summer, and am in the process of designing an anti-Sochi '14 pin with--you guessed it--the gay pride colours).

I know that Russia isn't the only country with anti-gay laws: almost a hundred countries have laws that make it illegal to be gay--but those other countries won't be hosting the Olympics (and the world) next year.

By the way, I don't hate the country itself: Russia is home to two of the greatest ballet companies in the world (the Bolshoi and Mariinsky Ballet Companies--there are others in Russia, but those are the top two. From 1909 to 1929 there was also the the Ballets Russes, which is still highly-regarded in the ballet world.) and some of the greatest dancers ever--including my favourite, Rudolf Nureyev, who was gay. Tchaikovsky, who composed my favourite ballet (The Nutcracker) and other awesome gems was also Russian (and gay). And I support the ideals that the IOC supposedly stands for (their actions speak louder than words, unfortunately).

36 Photos from Russia that Everyone Needs to See (heartbreaking)
Gay Tourists in Russia Face Jail Time, Deportation
IOC Prohibits Athletes from Challenging anti-gay Russian law at Olympics
Russia and the IOC Agree: Athletes and Spectators shouldn't be openly gay at the Olympics

March Break: we're almost there!

Things are starting to wind down in preparation for mid-term assessment week next week and MARCH BREAK the week after. Yes, I'm excited--but I'll fill the week not by going to Mexico, but by going home and gorging myself on my favourite music on a good sound system (hello, Metropolitan Opera Orchestra French horn section **swoons**). Maybe a few other things (like hanging out with Mom and Tom), but I intend on keeping it low-key.

This semester my drawing class has been doing life drawing. Yes, that means that we're drawing a nude model (a woman in our case). In the beginning I was a bit nervous, but I've gotten used to it--it's one of those things that all art students have to go through, no matter where you go to school. It also makes for good stories to tell your friends and your kids.

For five or six years I've had an idea for a piece of music going around in my head and a few weeks ago I finally decided that this summer I would commit to writing it. The current concept is that it'll be an autobiographical piece. I also want to push myself to the limit and try to make it as complex and advanced as I can--even if it means doing a few things that I don't quite have a handle on. I figure, I'll either learn, or I'll ditch the idea in question. I also want to make it longer then four lines, which is my current average.

Back in November I really made my views about the Olympics known. Well, guess what--last Friday night I stayed up until three in the morning watching the opening ceremony with about half of MJC. I couldn't believe how emotional I got when Canada entered BC Place: I actually cried on Liz's shoulder. (Though I didn't like how CTV kept tossing in commercial breaks--even if they only contained one ad--every ten minutes or so)

Earlier this month I found out the PBSO will be performing in late-April and early-May--just as I'm coming home from my first year at NBCCD! It's like getting a fanfare to welcome me home. YAY, PBSO! I love that orchestra.

the Olympic flame in Fredericton

The Olympic flame came to Fredericton on Wednesday night. Several people from MJC went--some as early as 4:30 that afternoon--two and a half hours before the start of the Community Celebration.

I went just after six and as I walked I could hear the festivities (I sang along with Ordinary Day by Great Big Sea as I walked along Queen St.). Even though I'm not the biggest fan of the Olympics (more about that in a bit), I couldn't help but get wrapped up in the excitement. I couldn't believe it: the Olympic torch was coming to Fredericton! For the first time in my life I'd get to see part of the Olympics in person!

Once I got to Queen St. (Officer's Square, where the festivities were, is about half a block away from NBCCD), the crowds started to get really big. The sidewalks were packed, but the biggest crowd was in the Square itself.

After hanging around on the sidewalk and taking photos there, I headed down into the crowd. I hope I don't sound totally weird when I say that I love being in a big crowd like that.

I chatted with one of the torch-bearers who ran that day in Oromocto and CFB Gagetown and got to hold the torch he'd used--it still had the soot from the flame. The torch weighs three and a half pounds, but to me it seemed heavier because of the way the weight is distributed (it's centred in the bulge in the middle of the torch). And yes, it does look like a marijuana joint--there's no getting away from it (though the Vancouver 2010 website says that the design was inspired by "Canada's open land, vast potential and smooth, fluid lines left in the snow and ice from winter sports").

Eventually the torch arrived, carried by Marianne Limpert. I, like everyone else, screamed my lungs out as she lit the cauldron onstage.

When we sang O Canada I didn't bother to hold back the tears. I haven't cried that hard during a national anthem since President Obama won the election (and that time it was The Star-Spangled Banner that made me choke up). I cried so hard that at one point I couldn't sing.

Wendy Nielsen (an opera singer from NB--and yes, she's sung at the Met) sang with the Fredericton Choral Society.

Then another guy whose name I forget sang and played steel guitar.

At one point towards the end the emcee had the crowd scream as loud as we could. He then told us that we were now a part of Olympic history.

They then put the flame in a lantern and extinguished the flame in the cauldron.

And just like that, the community celebration was over. I chatted with another torch-bearer, who told a small crowd how the torch works. I also stopped at the RBC booth and had my photo taken with a torch (that hadn't been used in the relay :-( ). They gave me a card with an ID number that I can enter online and download my photo. When I checked, it hadn't been posted so I entered my email address and at some point I'll get a notice saying that the photo is available. After that I headed back to MJC.

Today the flame left Fredericton. The route went past MJC and NBCCD, but I didn't hear anything at either place. I think if someone had noticed it they would've told others.

Earlier I said that I'm not a big fan of the Olympics, so I'll expand on that: the Olympics are a great idea and the ideals that they promote are worth pursuing, but the Games often fall far short of actually providing an example of those ideals. The Games are meant to bring the world together through sport, but they've been boycotted several times over the years by various countries (including Canada in the 1980 Summer Games); the Beijing Games were heavily protested and there were several things that the press covered quite heavily (the "ugly" girl who can sing really well vs. the "pretty" girl who lip-synched, among other things); Hitler used the Berlin Games to show off Germany's power; far too many doping scandals to count over the years, etc., etc. All of which have added up to make me lose my faith in the Olympics.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like ending on a bad note: two weeks, one day until the Metropolitan Opera's first radio broadcast of the season (Il Trittico by Puccini) and one week, two days until the Passamaquoddy Bay Symphony Orchestra's next concert in St. Andrews. You can tell where my priorities lie! This will be my third PBSO concert in seven months--whew!