to quote Finding Nemo, "just keep swimming"

FVA Annapurna is probably looking at me sideways and going, "'no more all-nighters,' eh? Looks like your words are on the menu." I had to eat those words this week.

Also, go Olivia Chow!

Monday: I got a reply to the email that I sent to The Fred Rogers Company!

Before class, I met with the writing tutor to get my gallery review for Twentieth Century Art edited, due to needing to pull my grade up after the disaster that was my midterm. I didn't need to make many changes, as it was a strong essay to begin with.

Tuesday: As usual, I met with Joan and talked about the week.

I met with my presentation group again and we put together the presentation.

Wednesday: While my time management skills are usually fairly good, this semester has kind of thrown me for a loop, with Wednesday night being the worst. I usually give myself anywhere from a couple of days to a week to write an assignment for school, but this time I was forced to write one and a half papers (I'd started one on Tuesday) in a night. I was at it until about 2:00 AM Thursday morning (including editing). But I didn't turn out my bedside light until an hour or two later, which meant that I was running on very little sleep on Thursday. I still wonder how the heck I got through that day.

Thursday: I handed in my midterms for Topics in Modern Canadian Art--and tried to stay awake. We also did the presentation.

Olivia Chow (Jack Layton's widow and former NDP MP for the riding of Trinity-Spadina in Toronto--Wednesday was her last day in that position) announced that she is running for mayor of Toronto, something that people had been speculating she'd do at some point. I wish her the best and I wish I could vote for her.



The election is October twenty-seventh--meaning that if she wins, the twenty-eighth will be two times more awesome than usual. I always celebrate Lynn's birthday, but if Olivia wins I'll be celebrating that as well. I'll be keeping a very close eye on the results on election night. Yay for awesome women and see ya, Rob Ford!

Friday: After having a midterm or something else due every week since getting back from break, I finally had a bit of freedom in which to catch up on readings that I missed.

Saturday: I spent the day reading while listening to the Met (what's new?).

Sunday: More reading, and I came up with the crazy idea to do a response essay for Contemporary Indigenous Arts, as I was so into what I was reading and I had two left. Thing was, it was fairly late at night. Oh, well--challenge accepted.

That night I had yet another run-in with the person with whom I'm not getting along. I've been planning to cut them out of my life once I'm home (get rid of all photos of them, emails by them, their contact info--maybe even go so far as to block their email address, just to be safe), but the latest episode has solidified those plans. While I didn't cry, I was shaking so bad that I could actually see my hands shake and my teeth were chattering, even though I wasn't cold. I don't need people like that in my life: I need people like Mom, Tom, Helen, Lynn (hi, you four!), Ken, Becky, Adrian--people who will build me up, not cut me down until I'm a shell of what I once was. I think the friendship's toast, anyway.

Those two things meant that the night was incredibly long and far too exciting for my liking.

If you want to know what I feel when I think about coming home after I'm done school, this piece sums it up perfectly. Freedom, I will have survived a trip to hell and back--and I will finally have a chance to heal (that thought alone is a beautiful thing).



Also, this piece is just pure fun:

homestretch. I can get through this.

Brace yourself for more gushing about a certain awesome violinist and friend. If it weren't for her, I have no idea where I'd be at this point. I certainly wouldn't have survived the despair during the fall semester as well as I did (and sometimes it almost pulled me under). However, there's a second victim this week.

Monday: Back to the grind. When I had a look on Sunday evening at what I had to do for the coming week, I saw that there were some readings that needed to be done for the next day, so I dug in. I continued reading on Monday, went to class and then finished the readings afterward.

Tuesday: We had a field trip to the Mount Saint Vincent University Art Gallery to view their current show, which we're to write a gallery review on. If my numbers are correct, this will be show review number five for me.

Lynn replied to an email that I sent over the break. In a postscript I'd said that I want to call her once the semester's over and I'm home because of what I've been through and the resulting need to have a good, long conversation with her. While there are a few issues to resolve as to what form the conversation's going to take (I wouldn't be surprised if we go the Skype route), THIS THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

I spent my appointment with Joan telling her about my break. It was also an extension of my last blog post, in that I gushed about a certain awesome friend (not the first time). As I said during the appointment in between howls of laughter, "Lynn, stop being so awesome! No, I take that back--don't stop!"

Wednesday: That day I hit a point where I couldn't wait for the semester to be over (probably my exhaustion speaking). I had another run-in with the person with whom I haven't been getting along, and let's just say that that conversation with Lynn can't come soon enough, and for a few days I kept thinking, "just a few more weeks and you'll be out of here. You'll be free. Hang in there. And remember: once this is over, YOU GET TO HAVE A NICE BIG DOSE OF LYNN'S CALM, GENTLENESS, KINDNESS AND OVERALL AWESOMENESS!" I reminded myself of that when I started to worry. Once again, Lynn was the main one keeping me going, simply by being in my life (thank you). I've decided that that call will officially mark the beginning of the healing process, because if I can start it awesomely, I will.

You know I'm almost done my degree when you start to hear about my post-school plans: figure out how to repurpose this blog, finish The Book and heal from what I've been through with the help of an awesome friend (and yes, get a job, start paying off the loan ASAP--I'm not waiting six months, as the interest will start piling up as soon as my study period ends on May first--start really getting my name out there as a photographer and update my website--it's needed an update since I started at NSCAD, but I haven't had or made the time to get it done--I'm estimating at least two afternoons of going through my projects, selecting the ones that are possibilities, whittling them down to a final selection and then resizing and posting those images).

Since I heard this song for the first time, in 2006 when André Rieu recorded it on his New York Memories album, it has always made me think of Lynn. I hadn't listened to it in several years, but I dug it out that evening. Like I said last week, I think everyone should have a friend like her: someone to whom they can go with everything, from excitement to despair.



Thursday: I got my Twentieth-Century Art exam back, and... I bombed it. As I told Jayne, I haven't done this poorly since FVA. I wasn't thrilled. Jayne suggested taking the course again, but that isn't an option: after five years of college and university, I'm champing at the bit to finish, which she understood.

As was the case after Christmas break, I was running on fumes by that day--especially since I only got about four hours of sleep the night before, which is half of what I need in order to function (don't want to think about it, don't want to think about it...).

Friday: I spent the day reading and working on my independent project. ...and had yet another run-in with the person with whom I haven't been getting along. Yep, the semester can't end soon enough. Ugh.

Though I will say that not only do I want it to be over because of what I've been through, I want it to be over because this year I finally hit the point where I was ready to be done with school (for a while: I haven't ruled out the possibility of a B.Ed. in art education).

Saturday: Mom shared this to my FB timeline that morning. Needless to say, I have to see the whole documentary--and given what I've been through, a little Mister Rogers, whose show I grew up on, is just what I need right now (again, calm, gentle, kind--I'm noticing a theme here. I know what I need in order to survive the rest of the semester and then recover.). Roughly seventeen years after I stopped watching the show five days a week every week, I'm still a devoted fan and I respect that man and his work deeply.

I spent the afternoon and evening reading and writing--and listening to the Met perform Prince Igor (which just happened to be simulcast #75). I remember when the BSO performed the Polovtsian Dances a few seasons ago (I believe it was in the season finale). I choreographed the piece, and spent almost the entire season wrestling with a particular violin part, which was incredibly frustrating, but I eventually figured out some choreography that worked.



That night, I found episode one (at least on NET, the forerunner of PBS--the show originated on CBC in '63) of what was then known as MisteRogers' Neighborhood, something that I'd wanted to see for years. Part one and part two (which, sadly, is incomplete). It's interesting seeing what's changed and what's stayed the same since that episode aired on February nineteenth, 1968 (wow). By the way, my favourite person on that show (besides Mister Rogers), Betty Aberlin, is now seventy-one--she's been on the show since the beginning. In case you're wondering, my favourite puppet has always been Queen Sara (pic here). I'm glad I watched that show when I was little: it's one of those shows that you never forget and that, even when you're twenty-five and it's been off the air (at least officially) since 2008, the last episode having originally aired in 2001, you can still hunt down on YouTube and other video streaming sites and seek comfort in. It's the only show that I watched as a kid and have returned to years later. J.K. Rowling has said that "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home"--well, I think there should be a phrase like that for the Neighborhood, as that's how I feel about it: I've grown up, I watch other shows, that one has been off the air for six years, Mister Rogers has been dead for eleven years--but I still feel that it's home and that I can return whenever the heck I want, thanks to the internet and video-sharing sites like YouTube (sorry it's so repetitive--but I feel so strongly about that show and about Mister Rogers that I'm not going to change it).

Wherever you are, thank you, Mister Rogers.



Sunday: I found this on the CBC Music Facebook page. Brace yourself: the first movement of Beethoven's fifth--in a major key, which sounds downright weird.



I spent the afternoon and evening writing the take-home exam for Contemporary Indigenous Arts, which is due today (again, essay form--but this time I could flip through the course pack instead of trying to pull facts out of my head, which will hopefully result in a higher grade than what I got for Twentieth-Century Art). I'm still working on it, in fact. After five years of college and university, my time-management skills should be better than this...

stressstressstress... FREEDOM!

I'm home--and still working feverishly on my book. I've set myself a deadline of sometime in May '14. And yes, I'm obsessed.

Monday: I spent much of the day studying for the Twentieth-Century Art midterm, which was on Thursday.

Due to my workload, I'd only started work on the gallery review for Topics in Modern Canadian Art a couple days prior and was worried that I wouldn't get it done on time, so I told Carla about my situation and she gave me an extension. It's now due the Thursday after Reading Week.

That day was the first day of the Peter Gross Ball Hockey Tournament, and Photo won its game.

Tuesday: The whole class was devoted to exam prep, and by the end my hand ached.

My appointment with Joan was basically an hour-long gush session for me--everything from the fact that my friend's cancer is easily treatable (yay!) to the fact that I'm turning this blog into a book (it's going to be so weird reading about the making of said book--hi, Annapurna of the future and anyone else who reads the book--including my parents!).

Afterward I had my first shoot for my independent project, which was an interesting one, as Jack's studio is more of a hangout spot due to the fact that much of his work is performance art (don't ask me how that fits into a BFA). I spent the rest of the afternoon editing photos and studying.

Wednesday: Studying. And stressing out. All day. 'Nuff said.

Thursday: I stayed up too late studying, so I was more than a bit tired. Somehow I managed to pull through the exam and I treated myself to lunch at Cora's when it was over--after all the stress, I figured I'd earned a treat.

Friday: I'd originally planned to head home that day, but due to a storm that hit NB, I had to change the date on my ticket. I spent the day at my favourite coffee shop working on my book.

That day was the final day of the ball hockey tournament at NBCCD. Photo made it to the finals, but had to settle for second place. You can read about the tournament here (including Photo's first game), here, here (including Photo's second game) and here (the final). You can admire the trophy here.

Saturday: Up and at 'em. Way too early and on only five hours of sleep. After a bit of a scuffle (won't say anything beyond the fact that it's related to what I went through in the Fall) I hurried down to the lobby where I called a cab--and made my first-ever request: I needed a cab right then because I was in danger of missing the bus. Within minutes, a cab was pulling up to the door.

I got to the bus station just as they were boarding (whew!) and spent a couple hours--you guessed it--working on The Book. I worked on it until my computer's battery started to get low (BookSmart is a bit of a power-suck). The bus between Halifax and Moncton was rather cantankerous and a few times I wondered if we were going to be on time. The driver had to pull over a few times and while we were still in the station he took the keys out--and the thing kept on running until he did something (probably under the hood) to shut it off. Freaky. We did get to Moncton, though--and just as I entered the station, they announced the bus that was headed to F'ton (usually I have to wait for about half an hour).

When I finally got to the F'ton station, I only had to wait a few minutes until Mom arrived. After I asked about changing my ticket over the phone (there's a possibility of another storm on Sunday--grrr...), we drove home, talking most of the way (everything from the latest news about Ca-r-ma--a cat TNR group that she volunteers with--to whether or not rites of passage--which are an important part of various religions and indigenous cultures but are, for the most part, nonexistent in secular Western culture--are necessary (I say yes).

Tom bought a new CD player this winter, as the old one had bit the dust. He'd told me that the new one is the best we've ever had, so I was itching to try it out. I put on the last track from Hika--and once again, Trond knocked my socks off: the sound was so clear. The best way I can describe it is by using a Claritin ad as an analogy: the old CD player is the part of the ad that has the film over it. The sound was really good, but at the end of the day the sound was that of any old CD player. With the new player, the sound was richer and revealed things that most other CD players would miss (the film has come off). Trond might as well have been playing in the sunroom, where the sound system is.

Sunday: I'd planned to get work done on the gallery review and a few other things, like studying the Nutcracker conductors' score. But although I dug said score out, I spent the day--yep--working on The Book.

Monday: While I'm still obsessively working on The Book, I've managed to work on the other stuff as well.

the fun of midterms

The fun keeps happening. **sarcasm** Also, midterms. **gulp**

Monday: I got bus tickets on the way to school. This will be my final time doing so to come home for break.

Tuesday: A friend with whom I hadn't been getting along with for a long time and I finally sat down and talked--and she told me that she has breast cancer. The tumour's pretty big, and she doesn't know whether or not she'll survive. I sobbed through much of our talk, I felt so bad for her. She choked up a couple times, too, but didn't turn into a complete mess, unlike me.

After my appointment with Joan, I spent the day doing homework and that night I snapped. After what I went through last semester, Stan's death and now this, I'd had enough and I became furious with the gods.

Wednesday: I emailed Lynn late-Tuesday/early-Wednesday and exploded, taking out a lot of my rage and fear on her (though I made it clear that said rage wasn't directed at her: I was angry with the gods, having gone through so much over the last few months and I'd finally reached my breaking point, as I think of this in the context of the entire year). That night I would've been happy to find an empty room somewhere and let loose and scream and yell until I couldn't anymore.

These pieces describe how I felt perfectly. Brace yourself. If you've seen Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, you might recognize the first one.



During my first lesson with my full-size violin (September 10, 2001), Lynn played this piece on said violin--and I fell in love with the composition immediately. Since then, it has been a piece that I turn to when I need something that I know will comfort me. Thanks, Lynn!







And this one pretty much sums it all up:



Thursday: My afternoon class was canceled because Carla was sick so I used the time to get a head-start on my weekend homework load and run some errands.

Friday: As promised back in the summer, I spent the day listening to Tchaikovsky while finishing the readings for Contemporary Indigenous Arts.

Saturday: On the way to school, I noticed that Halifax had raised the gay pride flag in the Grand Parade. I stopped and took some photos (the one below is from today)--and suspected that it was a show of solidarity with the LGBT community in Russia. Turns out, I was right. When I googled it, I found out that Fredericton and Moncton have also raised the pride flag at their city halls (go New Brunswick!). I have no words for how excited I felt when I saw the flag in Halifax. Now, whenever I pass the Grand Parade on my way to or from school, I look at the flag and smile: pride flags and rainbows in general make me happy, but pride flags being raised in solidarity with Russia's LGBT community, which many Canadian cities are doing, make me even happier (shut up, Rob Ford).

I missed the live broadcast of Rusalka (the story reminds me of Anderson's The Little Mermaid)--so I listened to it in Mountain Time, which, on CBC at least (I don't know about other networks in other countries), meant that it wasn't live. As I'd expected, Song to the Moon was spectacular.



I'd planned to do the first shoot for my independent project that evening, but the guy who was supposed to pose is sick so we rescheduled for this coming week ('tis the season).

While waiting for my laundry that evening I finally started turning this blog into a book using Blurb BookSmart. I'd tried a few times using BookSmart's blog-to-book feature, but it always stalled after importing my photos. I finally decided to give up on that method and copy and paste the text myself, post by post. I'm finding BookSmart clunky and slow (seriously, Blurb??), but at least I'm able to start work on my dream. I'm looking at a trade-size hardcover book with full-colour photos. Based on what I've done so far (up to Christmas break '09), I'm looking at about a two hundred page book and around 100,000 words(!)--not bad for five years of college and university. My current plan is to copy the posts that I wrote during the school year and possibly the posts that I wrote during the summer breaks. Some of the summer posts are referenced in posts written during the school year (e.g., the posts that I wrote as I figured out how I was going to approach the Sochi Games). I also want to do a table of contents, which will be interesting. Between this and more study of the Nutcracker conductors' score (can't wait!), reading week will fly by.

Sunday: I spent much of the day writing and stressing about midterms (seriously, my time management skills should be better than this by now). BTW, I only have two midterms to worry about right now: the one for Topics in Modern Canadian Art isn't until after the break.

critiquing artists in the Canadian canon and toi, toi, toi*, Renée

If you know one thing about Canadian art history, it's the Group of Seven. Thing is, that's all I've heard about Canadian art history, and it's made me think, there has to be more to Canadian art than this! ...right?

Monday: I submitted a call for participants for my independent project to the NOW bulletin, which is published by the NSCAD Service Centre and distributed throughout the school three times a week.

Tuesday: Over lunch, there was a meeting about the grad show and catalogue. We can do either one or both, and both are voluntary, unlike NBCCD's grad show, which is a requirement of all the programs. I'm considering submitting stuff to the catalogue but not the show because of the cost of shipping my photos on top of the cost of mats and frames (Canada Post ain't cheap).

I was supposed to have an appointment with Joan that afternoon, but it was canceled because she was sick. I used the extra hour to get stuff done.

Wednesday: At the beginning of the semester, I had a look in The Plaid Place, which sells Scottish stuff, and checked out their tartan scarves. I have a Moffatt tartan scarf, but it's way too scratchy for me. The lady told me that they'd be having their annual sale (fifty per cent off) in the last week of January and the first week of February. On Wednesday I finally bought myself a scarf--or two. As I didn't have anything with the Johnston tartan (Mom's family--unfortunately, that tartan doesn't reproduce well: in addition to the gold stripe, it has dark blue, forest green and black) on it, I decided to get a Johnston tartan scarf as well.

While I did get stuff done, my time management was really bad and I was up until 2:00 AM studying for Thursday's classes...

Thursday: ...which meant that I only got about five hours of sleep, which is less than I get on Christmas (unless there's a power outage, I'm in bed at midnight and then up at 6:30 to put the cinnamon buns in the oven--and I'm someone who needs eight to nine hours of sleep a night in order to be happy).

Jayne spent the first part of class talking about the midterm exam, which will be my first-ever essay-format exam (all others have been multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank style). After class, I had a bunch of questions for her because I was new to doing an exam that way.

In between classes, I studied for Contemporary Indigenous Arts as I wanted to get a good start on the week's readings.

And yes, this week's Topics in Modern Canadian Art was about the Group of Seven. However, for the first time in my life, I was in a setting where there was freedom to actually think critically about the Group--in fact, one of the readings for this week took a step back and actually examined the Group and the National Art Gallery's role in promoting those artists to death. Apparently, the NGC's attitude has been, "if you don't like the Group of Seven, you're not Canadian or not patriotic" (which means I'm screwed: minus Harper, I love this country--but I like the Group of Seven about as much as I like Ketil Hvoslef: they're good, but not my style). I've been raised to think critically, and it's bothered me that no one has done that with the Group of Seven (at least as far as I could tell). Sure, I don't question the composers in the classical canon--but then again, I like most of them. And even with the ones that I don't like, I feel no pressure to like them and treat them like they're the best thing since music notation.

That evening I got my first response to the notice that I put on the SUNSCAD Facebook group, advertising for participants for my project.

Friday: During Helen's and my Skype chat/memorial service, she told me that she was going to be in Halifax a couple of weeks from then and we started making plans to meet. Friday was the big day and I met her on the first floor of the NSCAD library (it has three floors) and we talked for a while. Eventually Helen had to go put more money in the parking meter. On our way out, I said "hi" to Ken, who was also in the library and introduced him and Helen. The two talked for a while, discussing artist stuff. Also, yay, networking. After Helen fed the meter, we went in the NSCAD Art Supply Store's street door, as she wanted to get some supplies (unlike NBCCD's store, the NSCAD store is open to the public). Turns out, she knows Neil, the storekeeper. We finished with a thorough tour of the photo dept.--and a good, long chat with Alex and Chris (also: yay for all the random things you learn at art school. Today's topic: gardening.).

Saturday: I spent the day studying and listening to the Met.

I'm considering going to the simulcast of La Bohème. While I can afford it, the issue is that it's right at the end of the semester and therefore I'll be in the midst of studying for final exams and putting the final touches on my photo project. Keep your fingers crossed, everyone! I'd love to finish my time at university with a good Met Opera/MOO/favourite opera-induced sob-fest (Bohème never fails to turn me into a sobbing wreck in act four).

Because the BSO played a pops concert featuring the music of John Williams that evening, I thought I'd share my favourite pieces by him, some of which were on the program. Enjoy. What I would've given to hear the BSO play the Indiana Jones and Schindler's List themes...







You'll have to go to YouTube to view this one:



I still remember the time the BSO reduced me to tears with the Star Wars theme:



Sunday: Once again, I spent the day reading--while listening to opera on CBC Music in celebration of Renée Fleming's performance at the Super Bowl, which I was super-excited about (I was positively giddy as I wrote about the upcoming performance in an email to Lynn Saturday evening, and I think my excitement came across in my writing).

If you've ever wondered about Renée's vocal range--wonder no more. Long story short: it's impressive--yet another reason why she's my favourite soprano. I have always wondered about the numbers that followed note names, as in the video below, and I finally looked it up.



The video is included in this list on BuzzFeed.

Back in August, Suzanne Nance opened her final broadcast on MPBN with O mio babbino caro from Gianni Schicchi, as sung by Renée:



I know I've shared a lot of videos (eight, to be exact) with you guys already, but I promise this is the last one. How can I deny those of you who weren't lucky enough to see Renée's performance of The Star-Spangled Banner live the joy of said performance, which was the first time an opera singer sang the national anthem at the Super Bowl? As I watched--with tears in my eyes because her singing was so beautiful--I was thinking about the significance of her performance. This is what I had been gearing up for and getting excited about since yesterday. BRAVA, RENÉE!



*"Toi, toi, toi" is the opera equivalent of "break a leg".

surrounded by support

Two things that I forgot to mention: 1. If you haven't already done so, please listen to the Grieg track that I linked to last week with good speakers or headphones. Computer speakers (which lack true bass and treble) don't do Trond justice. 2. Bob Bean has a show up at the Saint Mary's University Art Gallery, and the opening was last Friday. I was one of several NSCAD photo students who showed up.

Monday: I've wanted to learn how to use the Imacon scanner since I heard how good it is last year. That afternoon, I met Adrian in the printing lab to finally cross that item off my NSCAD bucket list (it's one of those bits of equipment that you have to be taught how to use before you can use it on your own). Because Adrian's awesome and one of the teachers that I truly trust, I wanted to tell him about the stuff that's making my life hell right now. So I did--in a flood of tears--before he taught me how to use the scanner (which is fairly straightforward, but as it costs about $25,000--six and a quarter times more than the Epson Stylus Pro 7900 printer--it's the kind of thing you don't want to mess up).

That evening, I updated Jake on the situation with said hell--in another flood of tears. I'd updated Alex earlier, and though I choked up a bit that time, it wasn't as bad. Jake suggested some things that I could do in this situation, and both guys hugged me.

Tuesday: I met a friend for coffee at my favourite coffee shop and then spent the day working on my project.

That evening, I met one of my former classmates, Ken, in the printing lab. He was doing a sculpture project for school and needed to print a huge photo for it. By "huge" I mean 36" x 72". As he'd never printed that big before, Jake had suggested that he have someone who had experience printing big help him. I printed two big photos last year, so Ken asked me to help him. Ken had seen some references to my current situation on Facebook, and wanted to talk with me about it, which we did after printing the photo. Like Jake, he made suggestions as to what I could do in my situation. And yes, that meant yet another flood of tears from me (one of the worst since this whole thing began). I didn't get home until just after 11:00 that night.

Wednesday: Midterm crit day. As a result of having trouble getting to sleep Monday night and staying at school late Tuesday night, I was exhausted all day Wednesday, which sucked because I love APC and like to be reasonably awake for my one and only class. As usual, we discussed the week's reading, which was followed by the crits. The ones that were projected were the worst for me as I could feel my eyes drooping. My own crit went well, with lots of suggestions as to what I could do next.

Ken had suggested making another appointment with Christina, which I did during one of the breaks.

Thursday: I spent the day editing photos for my project.

Every year the NSCAD Queer Collective puts out a zine, and this year's zine was one of the things we discussed at that night's meeting. I'm seriously considering submitting a piece that I wrote for my Writing for the Arts journal.

Friday: I met with Christina and told her what was going on (I've been emailing her periodically). She suggested making an appointment with a counsellor at Dal (NSCAD students have access to Dalhousie's counselling services), which I'll do on Monday.

I spent the rest of the day working on stuff for my project.

Saturday: I finally felt rested again (didn't sleep well Monday night plus a late night on Tuesday meant that I was running on less than fumes by Wednesday and it took longer than the usual two nights to recover). I spent the day at school and finally started the reading for this week.

Sunday: I edited the photos I'd scanned with the Imacon and finished the reading. I also did some stuff related to solving my current problem which ended up overwhelming me to the point that I felt hopeless--though getting a very late supper helped to make the bad mood go away.

happiness is being home

Reading Week snuck up on me this year--probably because I'm so used to NBCCD's first-week-in-March break.

Monday: Bob and one of the MFA students gave us a rundown of our printing options, specifically paper. The papers that both NSCAD and NBCCD use (Epson Premium Lustre and I can't remember which matte paper because I rarely use matte) are proofing papers: they'll get the job done, but they won't last as long as higher-quality papers.

On my way home, I finally bought my bus ticket.

Tuesday: I spent much of the day at NSCAD, but didn't get as much done as I'd planned. Instead, I spent most of my time there wrestling with my Graphics project. I then took it over to Staples and printed it (Staples will print on a variety of papers, whereas the Cage will only print on the pre-loaded paper).

Wednesday: I tried to make up for Tuesday, and I almost succeeded. This week we had to write another focus essay for Obsolescence as well as a proposal for the final, I had to finish my presentation and write the usual journal entry for Writing for the Arts and finish the project for Graphics. This meant that I barely had any free time.

I started packing for break that afternoon.

Graphics was mostly a critique of our projects. Mine went fairly well, though I have to redo some things and resubmit the project.

Thursday: I went to school a bit earlier than usual to finish and print stuff for Friday.

We talked more about paper options and decided which two to get.

Friday: This week's discussion took a decidedly science-y turn.

There were supposed to be two presentations as per usual in Writing for the Arts, but because the first one ran really long and we had to decide the show theme for the Wednesday class, I will be presenting in the first week after the break. And that theme is "No Hands". The theme that the Wednesday class decided for us is "Envelop(e)". When I first heard that we were going to do a show at the end of the year, I decided that whatever the theme, my submission would be photo-based because that's what I'm majoring in.

Saturday: I was not happy about waking up at 5:45 AM/4:45 EST--but because it was to catch the bus, it was worth it because I'd get to see my parents and cats earlier. And besides--I could snooze on the bus, which I did.

Mom and I talked the whole way home, as usual.

That evening, Tom had a couple of surprises for me: two books on opera. Although I have a kids' book about opera, I didn't have any grown-up books on the subject. One is a book of the synopses of the popular (repertoire) operas and the other is about the history behind those operas. I was about as excited as if he'd given me tickets to a performance at the Met.

Sunday: I'd planned to be productive, but those plans went out the window.

I spent Saturday and Sunday evenings watching La Bohème (the performance that the Met simulcast a few seasons ago)--and sobbing through the latter half of Act IV. I never want Mimì to die, and I always mutter, "no, no, no, no" at various points throughout that act, as though it'll change the ending. Unlike many other operas, La Bohème is very real to me: although they're fictional, Mimì, Rodolfo, Colline, Shaunard, Marcello and, yes, Musetta are my friends by the end--I relate to them. I love them all, and I know that if they were real people they would be my friends. So seeing one of of them die breaks my heart. It's the same every time, but I always come back for more.

Opera! Field trips! Art!

I meant to write an entry after the simulcast, but I was having so much fun hanging out with my parents and cats that it didn't get done.

The simulcast was wonderful, though I don't think I'll go to another Wagner opera: it was a bit much for me. Give me my Bizet/Puccini/Donizetti/etc., NOW!! There were no intermissions, which also intensified it. This simulcast was less hiccuppy than Turandot (there was only one major disruption, which was during the opening credits). The production design was really cool and innovative and I liked how the set was used as a backdrop and a second stage--and more.

When Maestro Levine walked into the pit I looked for Scott (my favourite hornist). I found him. The prelude was gorgeous and I teared up a bit when the horns started their part.

However, I found most of the rest of the opera to be rather boring and a bit too intense to be taken in all at one time. I'm definitely sticking to "lighter" stuff from now on (that is, if operas like Carmen and La Bohème qualify as "light"--at least they've got some catchy, memorable tunes and plots that draw you in).

At the end, some of the people in the theatre applauded, which was very different from Turandot (I was the only one applauding that time). And several of us stood against the wall after getting out of our seats and watched until the screen went dark and the Met's logo came on.

Mom and I drove home afterwards since it was Thanksgiving weekend.

I went to the show opening at the school gallery on the seventh--and was completely blown away. There was so much to look at! And not just in the gallery, either: the show extended out into the school lobby, which I thought was rather cool: if you came into the school that way, it could entice you to walk down the hall to see the rest of the show in the gallery. As I looked at Adam's work (he has several pieces in the show) I kept thinking, "I really love his work--but do I like it enough to call him a favourite artist?" I teetered on the answer, but I eventually took the plunge with a "YES!" I have yet to tell him, though (I meant to all this week, but my life was so crazy with two field trips and other things that I didn't get around to it).

Field trips! We had two in two days this week: one with Peter and one with Karen and Drew. Peter took us to a wooded area and a car junkyard (which was waaaayyyy too much fun--see below for two photos from each). Karen and Drew took us to Saint John, primarily to the New Brunswick Museum, though we visited Rod's studio as well. And we got lunch at the Saint John City Market.

Yesterday I went to Art Trek. This was my first time: I wanted to go last year, but the first semester was so crazy that I hardly had any time for anything other than homework and classes. It was everything that I expected it to be and more. I met several NBCCD alumni, which was really cool: we talked about both the artist's work and the school, what it was like when the artist in question was going there and what it's like now. I finished up at the home of Jane Geurts, who's one of the teachers. She was really happy to see me and gave me a hug. She was even more thrilled when I mentioned that I was now majoring in photography (she hadn't realized that I'd come back to the school to major in a studio--she just thought I was visiting or whatever). Harriet Taylor and Peter were also displaying their work there, but they couldn't actually be there. The student affairs coordinator, Gillian McLean, also displayed one of her paintings at Jane's place (she wasn't officially part of Art Trek).

This week is assessment week. Yesterday I read some of my blog entries from my first assessment week. My, how things have changed. Back then, even though everyone was telling me that I didn't have to be nervous about it, I was. This time, I know I have nothing to be nervous about: I've been through no fewer than four assessment weeks (this'll be number five), and it'll be less of a hassle this time around: I won't be rushing around grabbing stuff from various classrooms and lugging them to the third or fourth floor.

However, I wish the FVAs the very best this week and if there are any reading this blog (I got a comment from one ten days ago), what they say is true: unless you've been doing really crappy work, you don't have anything to fear--though I totally understand if you're nervous.

Here are some of the photos that I took during Peter's field trip:

Broken Windshield

Cobwebs

Forest

Still Standing

panel assessment day

Today was the panel assessment. I was up at six-thirty because I didn't take a shower last night.

I had to be there by nine to set up (I was on the fourth floor), but I left about ten minutes earlier then I'd planned so I arrived at school really early. That was okay because I ended up rushing around like crazy, bringing up my pottery from the basement and trying to find a drawing that I'd handed in last Tuesday (I had a look at the back and I got a good mark on it--though I can't remember what the number was).

After setting up I was free until my assessment, which was at 11:10. I passed the time by checking my email and various websites and then got a café mocha at Read's.

The assessment itself was easier and more relaxed then I'd expected. Sure, everyone said to relax and that it wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I was still nervous--even with all the prep, I still didn't know what to expect.

Harriet Taylor (Surface Design studio head) and I talked about the work that I'd set out and about how I'm doing, my experience at the college so far, and how to make things work so that I can succeed. Like the fact that I'm getting grades that are so bad I don't know how to describe them in both Creative Process and 2D Design. I want to do well in those courses and they're a lot of fun, but as I put it this morning, although I'm learning stuff, my grades don't show it.

She told me that at the end of the day the teachers have a meeting and discuss how the students are doing and that since Adam's my academic advisor, he can advocate for me and see what he can do to make my academic life a bit easier.

Afterwards I went to the bank to get some money for the concert I'm going to with some friends on Halloween at Crumbs Café (they don't accept debit). Then I went to the SuperStore to develop the photos for one of my projects for school. I was supposed to develop them as thumbnails: all the photos on one sheet of paper, along with three of them developed as five-by-sevens, but the machines don't do that anymore so I developed them as four-by-sixes.

After that I went back to school, got my stuff, and went home. And had a late lunch/early supper (take your pick). Tomorrow it's back to the daily grind...

midterms: how the week went down

I've been thinking about writing this for a couple of days and I think I'm finally ready to rehash it all.

Last Friday: Media Explorations--Ceramics (which is code for clay):

This was one of the best. I'm not surprised: in Media Explorations you're just trying out whatever it is (fashion, ceramics, photography, whatev). So if I made a mistake or something didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to, so what? I learned something, and that's what matters.

Only thing was, I was coming down with a cold, so I was happy to leave two hours early--but not before thanking Nancy for what she taught me.

Tuesday: Communication and Student Success (a.k.a. Communications):

Also very good. This one (like ceramics) was in class format--we didn't have appointments (unlike some others). I was first, so after a chat with Whitefeather I basically had nothing to do for the rest of the class. I filled the time by reading most of the material for the next reaction paper.

Drawing from Observation (a.k.a. Drawing):

Fairly good: there were a few assignments that for whatever reason didn't get done (I didn't write them down or whatever). But overall it was okay. This one was in appointment form.

Wednesday: History of Visual Culture: Pre-History to 1600 (a.k.a. History):

Fairly good: there's one assignment that I still have to hand in.

Creative Process:

From here on in things start to go downhill and it all has to do with putting in the effort. Just when I think I'm doing okay I get slapped with a D. **wince** I'm really going to have to pull myself up--I realize that.

Thursday: 2D Design:

See Creative Process.

This one was particularly painful. I knew it was going to be, and I'd braced myself, but it still hurt--to the point where I was almost in tears and I couldn't bring myself to look John in the eye, I felt so miserable.

Monday is the panel assessment, which means that the students have to put on a mini-show of sorts: you're given a certain amount of space and half an hour to set up. Then you have to talk about the work you've produced over the past seven weeks. I admit I'm a bit nervous, though I don't think I should be--I'm used to performing (eight years of violin lessons, anyone?).

Today marks two weeks until the Met's simulcast of Turandot, which I'm insanely excited about. The next day the BSO's performing a concert and one of the pieces that's on the programme is Beethoven's violin concerto, which I love dearly. I wish I could go to both, but I think that might be a bit too much for me: both my favourite orchestras in twenty-four hours. Yikes. I'm a strong woman, but I do have my limits. Violins! French horns! **swoons**

Plus, Bangor's one-hundred and ninety-two kilometres/one-hundred and nineteen miles away. Shoot.....

midterms aren't as bad as I thought

This week is assessment week and I've been feeling off-kilter since yesterday. I don't even have any real classes today: just come in to pick up my grade for history (not bad--probably has something to do with the fact that I love history of almost any kind: I just get so into it) and meet with Denise, my Creative Process teacher, at one. And that's it for today.

I caught a cold somewhere in the school and woke up with a sore throat on Friday. I managed to make it through my last ceramics class but by that evening I was so exhausted and plain ol' out of it that I went to bed just after 7:30 (which is really early for me--I usually don't go to bed until about eleven).

Mom phoned that evening (I'd emailed her to say that I was sick) and offered to have Tom come and get me the next day. He'd talked about going up that night but Mom put her foot down (driving through Moose Alley at night, plus giving me enough time to pack). The next plan was for him to drive up and get me at eight the next day. I protested that one and we settled on 9:30.

I hardly did anything on Sunday--just read Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume (which I ended up taking with me when I went back to Fredericton), played around on my computer (Facebook, anyone? Or how about watching a performance of The Nutcracker on YouTube?), planned to watch The Secret Life of Bees on said computer, read the material for the reaction paper, and worked on the reaction paper with Tom (I was still rather out of it).

On Monday morning I woke up feeling a lot better and worked a bit on my project for Creative Process (which I just found out isn't due until next week) before heading back to F'ton.

Now I just have to make sure I don't get sick again until after the Met's simulcast on the seventh--I don't want to be sneezing and coughing my way through a major horn (or violin) passage: "what? Could you guys play that again, please?"