the adventure has come to an end

The End is officially here.

Monday: One season ends, the program for another is announced--gosh, you're fast, BSO! And although I can get ridiculously excited about that orchestra (see my previous post and that insanely long paragraph on Sunday--according to the Bangor Daily News, that was "the first time in more than five years" that the BSO had a full house), in my almost-ten years(!) of being a fan (the anniversary's next month), I've never been this excited. Next season, the orchestra will be playing many of my favourite pieces--now I really wish I could go to a concert (or five). Again, why, BSO?! As if that isn't enough, their YouTube video announcing the season is possibly the most exciting one yet (and yes I'm biased). I am more proud than ever to be a fan of the Bangor Symphony Orchestra. Also, it's a good thing that I don't plan on going to the first concert because I'd have exert a lot of self-control--otherwise I'd be dancing down the aisle, probably ending up in front of the violin section (it's all about the violins).



Because I'm so excited, I made a YouTube playlist of my favourite works that the orchestra will be performing (in chronological order). Enjoy. I listened to the playlist a lot this week.



Also from the BDN review: "Not only was every seat full, but every inch of space on the Collins Center for the Arts stage was taken up--by nearly 100 singers with the University Singers, the Oratorio Society and the Bangor Area Children’s Choir, and an orchestra full to bursting with extra percussionists, keyboardists and other musicians rounding out its ranks." Looks like you've got competition, Wagner (he liked big orchestras)!

That day was also my final class. Instead of meeting in our usual classroom, we met in the Split Crow Pub that's also in the Historic Properties buildings, where the Granville Campus is located. However, I thought we were meeting in said classroom and headed up there, only to find the door locked and the lights off. I tried checking my school email, but it was on the fritz (what's new?). I met a classmate who also didn't know what was going on--though she'd heard something about meeting at the pub, so we headed over--and there was the rest of the class! I handed in my final for that class even though it wasn't due until Wednesday because it was originally due on Monday--until Carla changed the due date, though the original deadline was firmly stuck in my head by that point. However, having it done a couple days early meant that I could focus completely on my final for Topics in Modern Canadian Art.

And although I planned to focus on that last final Monday, I ended up not doing a whole lot: making the above playlist was about as productive as I got, post-last class. Then again, I've gotten pretty good at banging out a thousand or more words in a day or two--NSCAD has done wonders to improve the speed of my essay writing (NSCAD has you write longer essays than NBCCD does--even at the first-year level).

Tuesday: I had my final appointment with Joan, and this time we met at Dal, where's she's based. Unlike the room where she meets with students at NSCAD, her office at Dal has a huge window, which means that said office gets lots of sun on days like Tuesday (sunny and +19˚C according to the thermometer at the IWK building that I passed on my way to NSCAD).

I spent the rest of the day churning out the first of two essays for my Topics in Modern Canadian Art final. Mom arrived, and I was surprised when I saw her walk into the computer lab at NSCAD, where I was, as I'd planned to meet her in the lobby, the Granville Campus being a bit of a maze (though Photo isn't too difficult to find).

Wednesday: Once again, I spent the day feverishly churning out the finals for Topics in Modern Canadian Art, and finished the last one late that night. They also happened to be my final projects for my degree, and I was more than happy to be done.

Thursday: I had to hand in my finals, so Mom and I went to the school, where I took care of those tasks (printing off the papers, stapling them and handing them in) and said good-bye to the techs (and got a hug from Alex), thanking them for all the support this year. It was nice knowing that I could come to the photo dept. and be safe from the abuse that I was dealing with.

Afterward, we went back to the apartment and packed almost everything in an hour or two. I always find packing stressful, but this time it went really smoothly.

Friday: I was up at 7:00 AM and we finished packing. Mom had a run-in with the person who's made my life hell this year--but Mom had a strength in her that I never had this year and she firmly told that person to "stop." Well done, Mom! After packing the last of the stuff into the car (as I said in my homecoming email to Lynn, "by some miracle, everything fit") and returning my keys, we drove home, stopping at Starbucks for breakfast and coffee. I drove a little ways, until my eyes started to droop too much.

When I got home, I erupted with shrieks and yells: I was safe. I spent the rest of the evening relaxing.

Saturday: I was still very tired from the previous day and, although I wanted to do something (like study the Nutcracker score), I didn't have the energy. I didn't even listen to the opera (R. Strauss' Arabella).

Sunday: I've finally started to regain my energy and do some stuff related to unpacking.

---

With this, my college/university career comes to a close, as does this blog. I will still write when I have something to say, but unless I go back for another degree, it will no longer be used as a place to write about school.

I think this calls for some more awesome music as a send-off, and I can't think of anything better than the Finale and Apotheosis from my favourite ballet, The Nutcracker. Enjoy, and thank you for following my adventures these last five years.

Bangor Symphony, why must you be so awesome?!

This will be my final post as a college or university student: the next time I write, I will be home cuddling cats, hanging out with my parents and healing from a brutal final year. This blog will continue, though I have yet to figure out what sort of form it will take.

Also, I can never pass up an opportunity to gush about the Bangor Symphony Orchestra. Brace yourself.

Monday: This was one of those field-trip classes: we met at the Dalhousie Art Gallery to view that part of Beat Nation, which is a show that has been toured around, having originated in Vancouver. It's so big that it's normal for the show to be split between two galleries--in this case, the Dal Art Gallery and the Saint Mary's University Art Gallery. The show is about First Nations peoples and hip-hop, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

That day was so warm that I took my coat off on the walk back to NSCAD--and treated myself to a gelato at Humani-T Café (they have some of the best gelato that I've had outside of Italy).

Tuesday: Exam Day for Twentieth Century Art. To quote an email to Lynn, "I wrote more than last time (not writing enough was one of the things that led to me getting a D on the midterm), I tried to make my definitions as thorough as possible (another thing that set me back last time), and overall I'm happy. I've done my best. Since my appointment with Joan, I haven't done much that would qualify as work [...]--and nothing that would qualify as schoolwork (I plan to do some work on my independent project this evening, as it needs attention and most of the time I enjoy editing photos), which feels weird. Though both Kathryn--a family friend who lives in England--and Mom said in comments on Facebook to take a break."

Wednesday: I took that day slowly as well, but managed to do some work on my independent project.

Thursday: Being able to sleep in that morning felt weird (I can sleep in? Great! But are you sure about that? Positive?). During the afternoon class I found out that that was my penultimate university class: with the exception of the last Contemporary Indigenous Arts class, there's nothing this coming week--all we have to do for Topics in Modern Canadian Art is drop off our finals to Ken Rice's office, which is a minute or less from the Photo Dept.

Friday: I spent the day working on my final for Contemporary Indigenous Arts and checked out Reel Injun from the Visual Resources Collection, as I'm doing one of my final papers for that class on the film that had the deepest impact on me, and that one was the first that came to mind.



Saturday: I got a very late start to the day--and I wasn't thrilled about that, as I had finals to write for Monday. However, I did get a fair amount of stuff done, including finishing the gallery review and starting work on the paper about Reel Injun. Bonus: I got to watch the movie while I wrote (I had to pause it every now and then to write things down as they occurred to me)!

I didn't realize that the BSO had a concert coming up on Sunday until I saw this photo. Go violins! Even better: the orchestra would be playing to a full house--exactly what the BSO deserves, especially when performing Carmina Burana, which is a very powerful, knock-your-socks-off piece. Mozart's thirty-fifth symphony (the Haffner) was also on the program (it was the first half of said concert), a fact that I'd completely forgotten. But is it any wonder, given how much of a show-stopper Carmina is?





I love how the audience erupts in applause at the end. And who can blame them? They've been holding it in for just over an hour!

Sunday: Carmina Burana Day. I listened to part of it as I walked to school, and, for the first time ever, zeroed in on the violin part. Usually I take the orchestration for that work as a whole, not focusing on a specific instrument--but because I knew a couple of people (Lynn and Trond) who would be playing it about two hours after said walk to school, I focused on what they would be playing. Verdict: the violin part alone is impressive. July sixteenth, when that concert will be broadcast on MPBN radio, can't come soon enough. After finishing Reel Injun, I listened to the Mozart, which, at about twenty minutes, is incredibly short for a symphony. It's the exact opposite of the Orff in that it's very tame. As I wrote in a Facebook status update, the Haffner "[allows] the Bangor Symphony Orchestra to give it their all in knocking the audience's socks off with the Orff. Brilliant. To whoever chose the music for today's concert, well done!" How I wish I could've gone to the concert--if I were going to school in the Bangor/Orono area, I definitely would've gone, especially if I were a student at the University of Maine (the orchestra's home, the Collins Center for the Arts, is on the UMaine campus). Blow off studying for finals for two hours and get my socks knocked off by the BSO in the process--wonderful (double that when you add in the strong violin part in the Orff and the BSO's violin section's habit of taking an awesome violin part up a few notches). Bonus: student tickets (you have to be a full-time student) are USD$13, including the $3 processing fee that's applied to all tickets--and, unlike regular-priced tickets, student tickets are the same price no matter where you sit. Wonderful! I'm so jealous of students in the Bangor/Orono area right now. How I wish I could've gone. Bangor Symphony, why must you do this to me? Why?!

Okay, I think that's enough gushing about the BSO. **scoffs jokingly** Typical favourite orchestras and violinists. Bangor Symphony Orchestra, I love you--and I can't wait to hear today's concert on MPBN on July sixteenth (START THE COUNTDOWN!). Go violins!

In the midst of all this BSO-induced excitement (which is all in a day's work for me), I wrote my final essays for Contemporary Indigenous Arts.

barely enough time to catch my breath

So much for wanting to be done school...

Monday: Another one of those nonstop studystudystudy days--when not in class.

Tuesday: I had my usual appointment with Joan--and then spent the rest of the day studying.

For several years I have wanted to take a music history course. I know a lot of music history, but it's all through my own research (which has been ongoing since I was a little kid watching Beethoven Lives Upstairs--a kids' movie that I highly recommend for anyone, regardless of age. In fact, I'll post it below and you can watch it right now.)--I've never taken a course.



Part two (embedding has been disabled).



Part four (once again, embedding has been disabled).



After the hell that I went through this year, I wonder if I'd be able to live with him, given his temper (which was due to lead poisoning, as was his deafness). However, unlike the person who's been so nasty to me this year, Beethoven was genuinely sorry once he cooled down, admitted where he went wrong, sought forgiveness, worked to smooth things over--and didn't hold grudges.

Wednesday: More studying.

I found out via the BSO's FB page that, like the Met, their broadcast schedule is available online. I plan to listen to the concerts titled Appalachian Spring (which also features Beethoven's sixth, one of my favourite symphonies) and Carmina Burana (who am I to miss out on the knock-your-socks off power of the BSO combined with that work??). The first concert, which was performed earlier this month, will be broadcast on June fourth and Carmina will be performed on April thirteenth and broadcast on July sixteenth--two days before my twenty-sixth birthday! BRING IT, BSO! If you've never heard that orchestra play, you should. I don't just gush about it because I know a couple of the musicians--I gush about the BSO because it has my socks knocked off. If you're outside MPBN's broadcasting range and want to listen to the orchestra (or anything else), click here.

Thursday: The afternoon class was more of a marathon viewing of short movies than anything else.

That day, I found a course that was what I'd been looking for. It's through Guelph University (Ontario). I won't be taking it for a little while, though.

Friday: You guessed it: more studying.

Saturday: As the Met was performing an opera by Alban Berg, one of the few composers whose style I don't really care for, I had to look elsewhere for my Saturday music fix. I opted to gorge myself on Carmina Burana, which I think I listened to three times in a row. Thanks, BSO! I hadn't listened to it in far too long, anyway.



Sunday: I worked on a surprise for those who helped me through this year and, yes, studied.

I also set up an appointment with someone who's interested in subletting my half of the lease at my apartment. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day between that, an appointment with Adrian, class, and a friend's MFA thesis show opening--in that order. **whew!**

to quote Finding Nemo, "just keep swimming"

FVA Annapurna is probably looking at me sideways and going, "'no more all-nighters,' eh? Looks like your words are on the menu." I had to eat those words this week.

Also, go Olivia Chow!

Monday: I got a reply to the email that I sent to The Fred Rogers Company!

Before class, I met with the writing tutor to get my gallery review for Twentieth Century Art edited, due to needing to pull my grade up after the disaster that was my midterm. I didn't need to make many changes, as it was a strong essay to begin with.

Tuesday: As usual, I met with Joan and talked about the week.

I met with my presentation group again and we put together the presentation.

Wednesday: While my time management skills are usually fairly good, this semester has kind of thrown me for a loop, with Wednesday night being the worst. I usually give myself anywhere from a couple of days to a week to write an assignment for school, but this time I was forced to write one and a half papers (I'd started one on Tuesday) in a night. I was at it until about 2:00 AM Thursday morning (including editing). But I didn't turn out my bedside light until an hour or two later, which meant that I was running on very little sleep on Thursday. I still wonder how the heck I got through that day.

Thursday: I handed in my midterms for Topics in Modern Canadian Art--and tried to stay awake. We also did the presentation.

Olivia Chow (Jack Layton's widow and former NDP MP for the riding of Trinity-Spadina in Toronto--Wednesday was her last day in that position) announced that she is running for mayor of Toronto, something that people had been speculating she'd do at some point. I wish her the best and I wish I could vote for her.



The election is October twenty-seventh--meaning that if she wins, the twenty-eighth will be two times more awesome than usual. I always celebrate Lynn's birthday, but if Olivia wins I'll be celebrating that as well. I'll be keeping a very close eye on the results on election night. Yay for awesome women and see ya, Rob Ford!

Friday: After having a midterm or something else due every week since getting back from break, I finally had a bit of freedom in which to catch up on readings that I missed.

Saturday: I spent the day reading while listening to the Met (what's new?).

Sunday: More reading, and I came up with the crazy idea to do a response essay for Contemporary Indigenous Arts, as I was so into what I was reading and I had two left. Thing was, it was fairly late at night. Oh, well--challenge accepted.

That night I had yet another run-in with the person with whom I'm not getting along. I've been planning to cut them out of my life once I'm home (get rid of all photos of them, emails by them, their contact info--maybe even go so far as to block their email address, just to be safe), but the latest episode has solidified those plans. While I didn't cry, I was shaking so bad that I could actually see my hands shake and my teeth were chattering, even though I wasn't cold. I don't need people like that in my life: I need people like Mom, Tom, Helen, Lynn (hi, you four!), Ken, Becky, Adrian--people who will build me up, not cut me down until I'm a shell of what I once was. I think the friendship's toast, anyway.

Those two things meant that the night was incredibly long and far too exciting for my liking.

If you want to know what I feel when I think about coming home after I'm done school, this piece sums it up perfectly. Freedom, I will have survived a trip to hell and back--and I will finally have a chance to heal (that thought alone is a beautiful thing).



Also, this piece is just pure fun:

that time when a blog post revolves around an awesome friend

I spent the break on the couch in the sunroom, working on the gallery review for Topics in Modern Canadian Art, reading the Nutcracker conductor's score (I'm up to the part where Clara dances with the nutcracker in the party scene), working on The Book and enjoying Tom's new CD player. On Thursday night I found out that Lynn had passed her final exam in her surgical tech program with the highest grade in her class--in the words of the email that I sent to her the next day, "I erupted with shrieks and cheers--and threw myself back into my dancing with a vengeance." The Met broadcast a performance of R. Strauss' (the Thus Spake Zarathustra guy) Der Rosenkavalier yesterday and I recognized some of the tunes thanks to the Met Opera Brass' second album, Waltzes, Songs and Festive Scenes--track one is a Waltz Suite from that opera and track ten is the Final Trio. Thanks, MOB! Although this is the second time that I have heard that opera, the MOB was still a few months away from releasing Waltzes when I heard it for the first time. Thanks to them, I was humming along with the familiar pieces. I also celebrated the fact that Lynn has been playing the violin for fifty years (wow). I don't know when the anniversary is beyond the year (sometime last year or this year), so I decided a few months ago that I would celebrate during Reading Week. I also photographed Mom for my independent project.

On Saturday, I burned my journal from when I was twelve. This is the one and only time that I plan to commit such an act--there were some things in that journal that I want to keep secret forever and I have been wanting to burn it for a year or two. I'm more or less fine with other people reading the other journals and diaries that I wrote--the one that I burned was the only one that, when I think about it, makes me think, "really?? I wrote that?! I thought that?!" While I plan to live to be somewhere between a hundred and a hundred and five, I admit that I think about that journal in the context of what will be found after my life is over. What will I be comfortable with people reading? Not that journal!

March twenty-ninth will mark the tenth anniversary of the day that I told Lynn that I'd been thinking about quitting violin lessons. She'd been away for a couple weeks and although I'd talked about it with Mom, I needed to discuss it with Lynn--both because she was my violin teacher and because I just knew that talking with her about what was going around in my head would make me feel better (sometimes, talking with a specific person is all it takes).

That day, almost as soon as we were in her music room I said that that there was something I wanted to tell her. I can't remember if I'd tuned my violin by that point or not (tuning was always one of the first things that we did), though I remember that I'd taken it out of its case, put the shoulder rest on and tightened the horsehair on my bow.

When was thinking about the conversation in the weeks leading up to it, I thought that it would just be a fifteen-minute thing--NOPE! We spent about forty-five minutes (my lessons were an hour each by that point) discussing what I was going through (half of me wanted to quit, half of me didn't, which made for a big mess in my head and I was very conflicted and upset as a result), and Lynn was very supportive and kind and held me when I needed to cry. This is one of those times when I wonder how the heck I ended up with such an awesome violin teacher (this local guy who my mom approached when I was begging for violin lessons when I was six or seven wasn't taking on any new students at the time but knew someone who was--Lynn. Just think if that guy had had an open spot...).

As I talked, my voice shaking the whole time, I paced back and forth between Lynn and the piano (a baby grand, if I'm not mistaken--I found out that there are more than two sizes of grand pianos a couple nights ago). By the time we moved onto cramming a lesson into the remaining fifteen minutes, I felt much calmer about the whole situation. Thanks, Lynn. (Though it was basically the eye of the storm, as I spent much of the next afternoon sobbing.)

That was the first of three (so far) difficult times that Lynn has seen me through--the other two were the death of my granny in '06 and my current struggles. Let's face it: she's awesome. I think everyone should have at least one friend like that: someone who they can be completely themselves around and to whom they can go with everything. I have a few other friends like that, but Lynn's the one who stands out every time.

The best part: not only is this a gush-about-Lynn-to-other-people situation (not uncommon)--but as she's a reader of this blog, she gets to read it (hi!).

Even with my boycott of the Sochi Olympics, some news has still filtered in--especially Team Canada's double hockey win (both the women and the men took home the gold). During this year's Games, I've really appreciated CBC's coverage: while they do have the broadcasting rights in Canada, they have also talked about the negative side of the Games, including Russia's treatment of the LGBT community (which is why I won't be taking in a performance at the Mariinsky or Bolshoi anytime soon: even if I left my pride pin at home, I still wouldn't feel safe in Russia) and the environmental impact of this year's Olympics (it's awful).

Today's bus was another direct-to-Halifax bus (though it stopped in Moncton to pick up more passengers), and was possibly the nicest bus that I've encountered. The only thing it was missing was a wifi connection (it had plugs, though, which meant that I could work on The Book). While en route, I finished the gallery review--all I have to do is proofread it, print it off and hand it in on Thursday. As a result of the bus being direct, I arrived in Halifax about two hours earlier than expected. This evening I'm going to go through the readings for tomorrow's Contemporary Indigenous Arts class, edit the photos from the shoot with Mom and do whatever other prep I have to do for the rest of the week.

While we're on the topic of a certain awesome violinist, I might have stumbled across the program for her M.Mus. recital. I'm hunting down the various pieces on YouTube, and the first one is way too awesome to not share.

saying goodbye is never easy...

...and sometimes it's downright painful. I won't lie: this week has been both good and rough, and no matter how well I slept the night before, every night except Saturday night I crashed into bed due to the exhaustion brought on by my grief over Stan's death. Thankfully, there are those things known as email and Facebook--and Mom and I have made good use of both.

Also: every week I try to tell the story of that week as honestly as possible, usually editing only for grammar and clarity. Having said that, this week's post is extremely raw and emotional at times, due to both my commitment to honesty and where I was emotionally when I wrote this post, which I did over the course of four days. You might want to grab some kleenexes before proceeding. You have been warned.

This post is dedicated to the memory of Stan Hart.

Monday: I met with Adrian, and he suggested that I do the project, but not as part of a course. He will meet with me periodically.

I got the reading situation for Carla's classes sorted out. Hello, marathon reading sessions for the rest of the week.

My part of the APC show (Photographs) opened at the Anna Leonowens Gallery and was well-received. It looks awesome.

Tuesday: I had a meeting with Joan after Twentieth-Century Art. Toward the end of the appointment, I told her about Stan's death--and burst into tears. I shared with her some of the things I loved about him--and that I miss. I knew his death had to hit hard at some point. I think it was obvious how much he meant to me.

I spent the rest of the afternoon studying and then made a card for Ruth (Stan's wife). I couldn't write the message for the card without crying--a fact that I put in said message.

Wednesday: I mailed the card and then spent the rest of the day catching up on readings for my courses.

Eventually, I tore myself away from my reading to zip down to the Port Loggia Gallery for the opening of the rest of the APC show. ...and then it was back to reading.

Thursday: Due to staying up a bit too late the night before, I had to fight to stay awake in class that morning (sorry, Jayne).

In between classes I went to St. Mary's Cathedral Basilica (which woke me up--sometimes a good, brisk walk a few hours after the coffee has worked as much magic as it's going to helps--for a few hours, at least). While I'm not Catholic (I'm Eclectic Pagan), I wanted to light a candle for Stan and had felt the urge to do so for a couple of days. I wanted to feel the sense of peace that almost always comes over me when entering a place of worship, regardless of faith. I did some intense googling Wednesday night, and the only church that I found that listed their hours was St. Mary's--and they have a little blurb on the side of one of the pages that says that "visitors are invited to light vigil candles when visiting the church." PERFECT!

After lighting a candle (one of the tea lights--they also had gargantuan votives), I chose a pew at the back (one of the ones with a padded kneeling bench--awesome! I don't think I've ever seen a padded one in a Catholic church before.) and prayed. On my way out, I stopped for a few minutes and watched my candle burn, thinking about Stan and remembering the last time I saw him (this past summer, which was my last time talking with him and the last time I hugged him. Writing that sentence when I started writing this post on Thursday evening triggered a massive, violent sob-attack--there's no other way to describe it. Sometimes the fact that my honorary grandfather, a man I loved dearly, who always had a smile for me and was always a joy to be around, is dead hits me with the force of a semi truck. I miss you, Stan. I miss you. Terribly.) and silently crying. I then got lunch and headed back to class.

Afterward, I continued the readings while listening to the recording of Beethoven's Missa Solemnis that I got for Christmas (this recording). During times like this, there are always at least three things that help me: my faith (whatever it happens to be: I've converted twice already, with an average of ten years between switches), talking about it with friends and music. Specifically music like the Missa Solemnis or the second movement from the Emperor Concerto or the second movement from Beethoven's seventh (notice a theme here? I firmly believe that Beethoven wrote something for every mood, every moment in life, and I often turn to him, in both the good times and the bad.).

If you're curious, here's Stan's obit--with a photo (I completely lost it when I saw the photo). That smile--which I'll never see in real life again. Unfortunately, the site is one of those where you can only read a few articles before it asks you to subscribe. I made a PDF of both his death notice (also posted on that paper's site) and his obit.

Friday: In the wee hours of that morning, I finally put together what I'd been aching for for a couple of days: a playlist of tracks that, when I listen to them, go straight to my soul. In my usual style, I went through iTunes and put everything that sounded like it might be suitable in the playlist. Miraculously, the whole thing fit (though barely) on my 2GB second-generation iPod Nano, along with everything else that I have on there (I had to dump a couple playlists, though). Three hours of peaceful music, some sacred, some secular--everything from the second movement of the Emperor Concerto to Ase's Death to Rachmaninov's Vespers. Done.

That afternoon, I had an appointment with Shawna (the registrar) to tell her what I was up to with regards to the independent study. She asked me how I was, and I told her that there were two parts to the answer: my classes were going well, but a close friend who was like a grandfather to me had died almost a week ago. I couldn't talk about Stan's death without my voice getting shaky. We also sorted a few things out on my audit work sheet.

I spent the rest of the day studying, and when Becky (remember her?) came into the computer lab and asked me how I was, I told her everything--and sobbed in her arms. She's right: I have had a rough year (though I know how to deal with what I'm currently going through, having felt the pain of grief before). One of the security guards who works the 4:00 PM - 12:00 AM shift during the week, Bill, had seen me when I told Jake what was going on, saw that I was really upset and a few minutes before he needed to start making the rounds (one person from that shift of security guards has to go through the entire school in two hours--there are two people and while one sits at the front desk, the other goes through the school) came to see what was up. I told him--and sobbed. He comforted me in his weird, awesome way.

Saturday: I spent the afternoon studying, listening to opera (an archive performance from earlier this season of Eugene Onegin) and, especially at 2:30, thinking of Stan and his wife, Ruth (2:30 was when the funeral was).

That evening, Helen (my old mentor from my last year at NBCCD and a family friend) and I skyped. It made up for the fact that I was unable to go to the funeral (I really wanted to go): we shared stories about Stan and Ruth, I read her the message that I'd written in the sympathy card, I cried... When I'm going through something like this and am able to have a good, long conversation about the person who's died and what I'm going through, I regard it as sacred. And while all the things that I'd done prior to Helen's and my chat helped a little, our chat really helped. We both think of it as our own memorial service.

I am incredibly thankful to everyone who's helped me through this terribly sad time.

That night I finally got caught up on my readings. Whew! Now I'll have more time for other things--including my independent project!

Sunday: When I woke up today, I felt a lot better: I didn't feel so weighted down by grief. I still miss Stan, but it isn't as intense.

I spent the afternoon doing the readings for Twentieth-Century Art and started the readings for this week's Topics in Modern Canadian Art this evening.

can we just fast-forward two or three months, please?

I start my final(!!!!!!) semester tomorrow and am currently on the bus, en route to Halifax. I can't believe that there are now only four months left in my university career. Let's hope it's not quite as big a roller-coaster as last semester--I honestly don't know how much more I can take. I sure as heck don't want to sink as low as I did: despair is not an emotion that I want to feel again any time soon. But if I do, I've got a solid support system in place.

I've spent the break trying to unwind from what I went through this past semester, which has proven to be difficult (I always have to unclench my brain from the stresses of the semester, but usually it's just academic stress). But given what I went through between September and December, I'm not surprised. Still, I'd give anything to completely relax mentally for more than a night (Friday night was wonderful: I felt the calmest that I've felt since September).

For Nutcracker Weekend, I read the entire first violin part, which was thrilling, though I had a few moments where I didn't know where I was in the music, and I completely messed up the part where Clara and the prince arrive in the Land of Sweets and went back after finishing the Apotheosis and read it with the music again. This time I knew what I was doing and where I was in the music.

We spent a few days, including Christmas Day, in the dark due to the ice storm that hit the Maritimes and New England, which got to be a bit tedious (especially since my room turned into an icebox), though Christmas Eve was pretty nice, as I listened to MPBN radio's Christmas music programs on my pocket radio by the fire--we kept the dining room fireplace and the basement stove going 'round the clock, and every night I had the evening shift from when Mom went to bed until Tom came down to take over for me and sleep by the fireplace for the rest of the night--during the outage, he went to bed around 5:00 PM). By that point, I was properly warm (I'd been shivering most of that day even though I had on four layers from the waist up and two layers from the waist down plus socks and boot-style slippers--both fleece). I'll admit that I was disappointed that we couldn't have cinnamon buns on Christmas morning, though I made up for it by making them on the eve of my parents' wedding anniversary. Mom baked them for me the next morning, and they were worth the wait. At this point, I'm sick of Winter. Trond, if you happen to stumble across this blog, I want you to know that I'm jealous of you and your wife (visual artist Joan Siem). You two have the right idea, escaping to Galveston, TX (in addition to being the BSO's concertmaster, Trond conducts the Galveston Symphony).

The power came back on Boxing Day evening, and we all celebrated--and then disappeared behind our respective screens.

On Friday, I wrote a letter to the editor of the Saint Croix Courier (the local paper), thanking the line crews, many of whom were away from home over Christmas (NB Power called in reinforcements), and all of whom had to work in less-than-ideal conditions and at all hours of the day and night:

"Editor:
"I, like many of my fellow readers, wish to thank the line crews who worked through the holidays and in less-than-ideal conditions, giving up time with their families to get those of us who were without power back on the grid. THANK YOU!
"I admit to feelings of frustration toward the government, especially Alward's insensitive, out-of-touch 'hunker down' comment, and the realization on Christmas Eve that my family would be without our traditional Christmas morning breakfast of homemade cinnamon buns the next day was more than a bit disappointing (I like my routines). However, those feelings were dwarfed by the relief that Mom and I felt when we saw three power trucks go up the road on Boxing Day evening, and she and I waved and cheered even though we knew no one could see or hear us. When the lights came back on an hour later, the whole family celebrated.
"Again, THANK YOU, LINESMEN!
"Annapurna Moffatt"

I'll let you know if it gets published (if that happens, it should be in this week's paper)--maybe even with a JPEG of the Letters to the Editor section, as my family has a digital subscription in addition to the regular, hardcopy subscriptions to the Courier and Courier Weekend. I believe this is my first time writing a letter to the editor. Either way, it's exciting.

I got a cheap (for a conductor's score, anyway) copy of the score for The Nutcracker and spent the days after Christmas studying it, which kept me occupied during the remainder of the outage, and I've already made a handful of notes in it (because it's sheet music, and a lot of the sheet music that I already have is littered with Lynn's and my notes, I don't feel bad taking a pencil to my favourite ballet). My initial plan was to read the harp part, but along the way I ended up reading the other parts and studying how everything fits together. I read up to Drosselmeyer's entrance, which is the beginning of page ninety. I wanted to finish the galop before I left for Halifax so that I know exactly where I am when I come home for Reading Week. I also got a lot of recorded music (some in CD form and some from iTunes): Charlotte Church's first three EPs, a beautiful recording of Beethoven's Missa Solemnis and one of Trond's albums (Hika), which I want to get autographed the next time I go to a PBSO concert.

On Friday, Lynn emailed me an article from the New York Times about a photography documentary, and when I watched the trailer on YouTube (I couldn't watch it on the NYT site, as it just kept buffering), I had to share it with the rest of my readers: it's too awesome to keep to myself (I emailed the article to Tom as well). Thanks, Lynn!



Just like last year, the trip back to Halifax was an interesting one, as the bus was half-an-hour late leaving (boarding was right on schedule), due to the bus coming from Québec--which was one of the transfer buses at Moncton that would take those of us going to places in Nova Scotia the rest of the way (due to so many university students going back to school today, there were several buses covering that route, and because the bus from QC was filled to capacity there was a second bus following it)--being an hour late. When I transferred at Moncton, there were two or three buses covering the route between Moncton and Halifax, and I ended up on the same bus that I boarded in Fredericton.

Check out this video and article about the Robinson Ballet's production of The Nutcracker, which they perform around Maine every December. In Bangor (the performances that the feature talks about), they perform with the BSO. Look for a closeup of Lynn at the 1:16 mark--the piece the orchestra's playing is the Waltz of the Snowflakes from Act I, and due to Trond being in Galveston, she's in the concertmaster's seat (when he's in Maine, she sits in the chair to the concertmaster's left). Go violins!

life, death and art

The countdown to the final day is in full swing.

Monday: I spent much of the day decompressing from the trip to Elsipogtog. Turns out, Laura and I had gone at the right time, as the protesters had another confrontation with SWN and the RCMP. This one wasn't as major as the one that grabbed headlines in October, thankfully.

I also had another meltdown related to what I've been going through this semester. I could feel it bubbling just under the surface after I read the thing that triggered said meltdown that morning. I waited until late that afternoon before talking with Jake and Alex about it--and crying. And Chris (another tech) now knows some of what I've been going through this semester. This time of year is busy for everyone, techs included, so I'm really thankful that they managed to find time to comfort me.

Tuesday: I had another appointment with Joan--my last for this semester. And I discussed the events of the previous day with her (it was one of those times where, yes, I had an appointment the next day--but I needed to talk with someone right then).

That day Mom told me that she wanted some of my photos from Elsipogtog for the Christmas newsletter. She also wondered why some people are pro-fracking, which I happily researched (see here and here).

Wednesday: Crit Day. I did really well and I'm proud of what I've accomplished this semester. To paraphrase Neil Gaiman: going through a hell that keeps recurring? Make good art. I'm going to deviate from talking about the crit to share this passage from that address with you guys because it's so awesome: "Fourthly, I hope you'll make mistakes. If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there doing something. And the mistakes in themselves can be useful. I once misspelled Caroline, in a letter, transposing the A and the O, and I thought, 'Coraline looks like a real name...'

"And remember that whatever discipline you are in, whether you are a musician or a photographer[!!!], a fine artist or a cartoonist, a writer, a dancer, a designer, whatever you do you have one thing that's unique. You have the ability to make art.

"And for me, and for so many of the people I have known, that's been a lifesaver. The ultimate lifesaver. It gets you through good times and it gets you through the other ones.

"Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do.

"Make good art.

"I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it's all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn't matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.

"Make it on the good days too."



And now, back to the blog post.

While my crit went well, I had to rewrite part of the contextualizing statement. I was okay with that, though I'd planned to be done with the thing: once I'd gotten the final draft down to seven hundred and fifty words and was happy with it, I planned to never touch it again. Turns out, I had to dig it back out after all. I spent the afternoon rewriting the statement during the open studio.

Mom had told me that she and Tom were going to work on the annual Christmas newsletter the next day, so I chose photos from the Elsipogtog trip, edited them and wrote a couple hundred words on the experience. I sent everything that night.

Thursday: I worked on the statement and some other things that needed to get done, including getting some Christmas presents. Early that evening, I found out that Nelson Mandela had died and I emailed Mom with the news. She hadn't yet found out. As I was writing this on Saturday night, I was listening to CBC Music's Essential Classics channel and as I was writing about what happened on Thursday, the folks at CBC had Barber's Adagio on. I wanted to include something in this post to honour Mandela, and the Adagio is perfect. Thanks, CBC!



And this, from another wonderful human:



Friday: I didn't get a whole lot done, which I wasn't thrilled about. Though I managed to finish the contextualizing statement. That evening I went to an end-of-semester/birthday/some-classmates-are-done-this-semester-and-are-moving-away party. I was there during the first half of said party, while it was still fairly small and intimate. We played music on the host's (Greg, one of my classmates) turntable and iPad Mini and iPods from a couple of his friends. This was the first record that he put on. Also, I tried blueberry wine for the first time. I liked it and would happily have it again, but I was expecting more of a blueberry taste.

That day, SWN finally backed down. I wish I could go to Elsipogtog again just to give everyone involved with the protest a high five. However, the fight isn't over: SWN will be back. Some sources are saying in '15, others say they don't know when the company will try again.

Saturday: Saturday was the Met's first radio broadcast of the season: Verdi's Rigoletto, which was wonderful as always. I've missed the Met (and their wonderful orchestra, complete with a horn section that could give the BSO's violin section a run for its money when it comes to knocking peoples' socks off), so it was great to hear them again. Here's Questa o quella from act one (the Met's current production is set in Vegas in 1960):



I spent the day getting a bunch of things done.

Sunday: I worked on several things not related to school, including my packing list and a surprise for the techs, as I want to thank them for supporting me through this semester's bumps and scrapes.

Today marks ten years since my worst violin lesson ever. I hadn't practiced all week, and Lynn knew right away. It took her three tries to get me to tell the truth--the first time I don't think I really gave an answer, the second time I probably said something along the lines of "maybe...?," the third I admitted to what I'd done. I'll never forget her telling me that the lesson was a waste of money (hers don't come cheap, but they're so worth it as she's a really good teacher). And I'll never forget the times that I wanted to find a small corner in her house, curl up into a ball and sob--and the times that I came close to tears on the way home. Simply put, I was miserable. For the last few years, I've been suspicious that that lesson was an early sign of what would culminate in me quitting lessons in April 2004. I can't believe it's been ten years.

The next time I write, I'll be enjoying a much-needed and -deserved break at home. And a week after that is Nutcracker weekend for the BSO. Here's a version of the entire ballet that was performed as a concert (you read that right--no dancers were involved in this performance). My god! We're only two weeks away from Nutcracker weekend!!! **squeals**

for the love of Tchaikovsky--and the Bangor Symphony

Despite the fact that I'm only doing nine credits this semester, I've hit that point where I'm randomly freaking out about how little time is left between now and the end of the semester.

Monday: On the way to school, I got my bus tickets. The bus will be boarding at 7:05 AM, and it seems that every time I get tickets the boarding time is earlier than it was the previous trip. On the plus side, I can snooze on the bus (I never sleep in moving vehicles) and I'll get to see my parents and cats sooner.

I returned Helvetica to the VRC and as usual I discussed the documentary with Rebecca Young (the librarian--and a former NSCAD Photog). While it was well-made, I found the documentary boring. Though I'm amazed that one could do a whole eighty-minute film on a font.

The NSCAD Queer Collective is doing a project on the accessibility of NSCAD's bathrooms (in general, NSCAD is up to its eyeballs in accessibility issues, especially the Granville Campus). That day I finally found the time to fill out the lists for the two bathrooms that I'd been assigned to do.

Tuesday: When I had one of those freak-outs that I mentioned in the intro on Monday night, I was really glad that I'd scheduled some time in the Academy computer lab for Tuesday. A couple hours there and I was back in control (I find that the best stress-reliever is just buckling down and getting 'er done--never underestimate the satisfaction of crossing stuff off of a to-do list).

Wednesday: Class was devoted to work-in-progress (WIP) crits and studio time. We also had meetings with Adrian. He and I discussed editing my contextualizing statement (I'd written two hundred and twenty-seven words more than I needed and this was one of those times where I would look at what I'd written, think, "what's not important? What can I cut?" followed by, "IT'S ALL IMPORTANT!" I needed someone who wasn't as emotionally attached to the statement to go through it and cut out the unimportant parts.). I spent the rest of the afternoon applying Adrian's edits to the statement. Several of us hung out in the computer lab, figuring out the title for the show (we'd gotten confirmation that we had a spot in the Port Loggia gallery in January the day before).

During my WIP crit, one of the things mentioned was that a couple of the pieces needed more photos. One of those pieces meant braving the cold at night with my camera. Because I wanted to get it done with ASAP, I took the photos as soon as I got home that night, downloaded them to my computer and got rid of the worst of the bunch.

Thursday: Another cooking day. And as a result, I didn't get over to NSCAD until late-afternoon. I didn't do much in the way of schoolwork, though I did edit the photos.

Friday: I took more photos for another series that needed different photos (the ones that I had were too similar), edited them and added them to the slideshow. I also bought a 2014 calendar at ViewPoint Gallery and checked out Food, Inc. from the VRC (you never know what you're going to find there). And I added another goal for this year: watch as many movies and documentaries from the VRC catalogue as possible between now and April. Bonus: although the usual limit for DVDs is three at a time for two days (the whole weekend if you check them out on Thursday or Friday), students are allowed to check out more than that and take them home over breaks, which I might do when I go home next month.

On the way home I took some photos of the Waverley Inn's Christmas decorations.

That day, a judge in NB ruled in favour of SWN, "ordering protesters not to interfere with the company’s shale gas exploration [on Elsipogtog First Nation] and giving police power to enforce that order." Reading those words still makes me incredibly sad and angry: the land is Mi'kmaq territory--the Mi'kmaq are the ones in charge of it. Also: whatever happened to freedom of peaceful assembly? Whether settler or aboriginal, we all deserve that right. The way the case was handled was crappy, too: the First Nation "had no time to hire lawyers." I can imagine how it would feel for the people of Elsipogtog: I'd be angry, too, if some company wanted to come drill for some resource or another on my land and wouldn't take no for an answer.

This documentary, which I watched recently, is a really good overview of what aboriginals have had to deal with over the last few hundred years. The things we settlers have inflicted on our fellow human beings--who were here before we were--makes me so angry and sad--and ashamed to be white. This is my own race that has done these things and if I could somehow make it all go away, I would. The fact that I have the tiniest drop of Mi'kmaq ancestry (one person) intensifies those feelings.

Saturday: Once again, I spent a few hours in the Academy computer lab. I also edited the photos that I took Friday night.

Sunday: I've spent the afternoon and evening whittling down my contextualizing statement. The whole thing is supposed to be seven hundred and fifty words. Four years ago (in '09) I would've looked at that number and said something along the lines of, "**gulp** I'm supposed to write how many words?? HELP!!!!" and freaked out. Now, I think nothing of a thousand-word essay. Some of my blog posts have been around two thousand words. And I'm still ridiculously proud of the three-thousand-word monster that I cranked out for my Questions of Obsolescence final this past spring. The thing with the statement that I'm currently editing is that my project combines three things (music, dance and photography) that I could talk about for hours and easily write a thousand to two thousand words on. Art means everything to me, and the way I write about it, including how many words I could devote to writing about it, reflects that passion.

Today the Bangor Symphony did a Totally Tchaikovsky program. They started with his Coronation March, which features a passage also heard in the Marche Slave (which at times sounds like a mashup of other works by Tchaikovsky, which I really like). Brace yourself for awesomeness.



The concert also included one of my favourite concertos for any instrument, by any composer: Tchaikovsky's first piano concerto. What I would give to have the BSO knock my socks off with that piece. Bonus: the violin part is pretty awesome.



I finished Saturday night by listening to Tchaikovsky's fifth symphony, which I'd never heard before. It was the last piece on today's program. My verdict: it's awesome. Thanks, BSO! Also: Bernstein. Need I say more?



As you've probably noticed by now, I usually only post one or two pieces when posting works that the BSO's performing. Today is an exception: all three pieces have that "oh, my gosh, wow!" factor. Why must your music be so wonderful, Tchaikovsky? I've been listing to nothing but his music all day. This is your doing, BSO!

I found out yesterday that students at the University of Maine get two free tickets per semester to events at the Collins Center for the Arts. The Collins Center is the BSO's home stage, so if I went to that school I'd save at least one ticket each year for a BSO concert. Dear UMaine students: I'm officially jealous. And for non-UMainers, student tickets to BSO concerts are $13 including the processing fee--and it's the same price no matter where you sit. Talk about an awesome deal!

making connections

Just when I think the world of visual art is small, I take a good look at the classical music world: there are connections between composers all over the place. Also, the weeks are going by way too fast.

Monday: As it was Remembrance Day, NSCAD was closed (I didn't really celebrate--how could I when Harper pretends to support the troops while cutting services that vets need, especially mental health services?)--but I showed up, anyway. I spent probably several hours staring at my contextualizing statement, trying to come up with a better beginning and ending--and failing.

Tuesday: I met with Joan again and we talked some more.

I then headed over to the Academy Building to make a QuickTime version of my APC project. What I thought would take five minutes max ended up taking an hour or so because I found out that A. I'd done the video in 4:3 ratio (the ratio used by old CRT TVs) instead of 16:9 ratio (widescreen) and B. I'd done it in standard definition instead of HD. I knew something was up because the images looked low-resolution--but I knew that every single one was 300 DPI. I asked the technicians for help a couple of times. The first time I went back down to the basement and tried to solve the problem myself and when that didn't work I went back up and asked again. This time the technician came down with me and helped me sort out the issues. I then made the QuickTime file and headed back to Granville.

Wednesday: This week was the last week of doing readings. Several of us wanted to do work-in-progress crits, including me. Mine went extremely well. It was also the first time I saw my slideshow projected BIG and heard the music on good speakers (In the Hall of the Mountain King BOOMING above my head and a little to the right? Yes, please!). As a result, I could barely speak for a few seconds afterward.

Thursday: I spent most of the day glued to Twitter (though I don't have an account) following the hashtag "Elsipogtog", as there was another blockade/confrontation between the First Nation and SWP (which was protected by the RCMP--seriously! And police weren't wearing name tags, which also happened during the G20 protests and they got in trouble for doing that as wearing a name tag is a must.). Thankfully, there wasn't any violence this time around. Here's a really good article from the Toronto Star about the facts about First Nations peoples that are often completely ignored. These three paragraphs are especially important:

"In 1997, the landmark Supreme Court Decision in Delgamuukw finally clarified that even under Canadian law, Aboriginal title to most of the land within British Columbia’s provincial borders had never been extinguished. This ruling had immediate implications for other areas of the country where no treaties ceding land ownership were ever signed [Annapurna's note: this includes much of the Maritimes]. One day, Canadians woke up to a legal reality in which millions of acres of land were recognized as never having been acquired by the Crown, and that elephant has been occupying our national room ever since. 

"Unfortunately, this glaring issue did not seem to percolate into the wider Canadian consciousness, and many people remain unaware of it. In 1999, the Supreme Court passed down another judgement confirming that the Peace and Friendship Treaties of 1760-1761 did not cede land or resources. This cannot be emphasized strongly enough: the Mi'kmaq never gave up legal rights to their land or resources. Canada does not own the land that the people of Elsipogtog are defending. 

"This is not conspiracy theory, or indigenous interpretation. This is Canadian law, interpreted by the Supreme Court of Canada, applying Canadian constitutional principles. Yet somehow, this most important fact is left out of most reports on Elsipogtog as though it is barely relevant."

I have come up against the sorts of myths that this article debunks being presented as fact, and even just thinking about it makes me a bit mad at those who believe those lies.

Friday: I worked on my project, making the changes that I'd written down during my crit. Afterward, on my way to the Photo Dept., I stopped in at the NSCAD Visual Resource Centre and checked out Helvetica for the weekend.

As I've mentioned before, we've been reading Of Cigarettes, High Heels and Other Interesting Things as part of APC. However, we skipped the preface and chapters six and seven. I loved the book so much that I didn't feel right skipping any part of it so right from the beginning I planned to read the parts that were skipped on my own time by the end of the Winter '14 semester. I read the preface that day and plan to read a chapter a week, meaning that the last week of term will be the only week that I don't have to read anything. It felt weird to not have to take notes while reading.

Saturday: On my way to school on Thursday, I'd stopped to have a look at the Remembrance Day wreathes at the cenotaph in the Grand Parade. One of them had been laid on behalf of Norway, which made me wonder about the connection between that country and Halifax. I spent part of the afternoon researching the ties between Halifax/Canada and Norway. Turns out, Canada and Norway have had some form of connection for about a thousand years, and Norwegian military trained in Lunenberg, NS during World War II (Norway being part of the Allies). One of the ships involved in the Halifax Explosion was a Norwegian ship (the other was French). The Norwegian embassy's Canadian site has a good section on the history of the partnership between the two countries--though some of it sounds like it was written in the pre-Harper days (Canada interested in sustainability and being good to the environment? Only if Harper gets kicked out.). This makes me even more excited and proud to count two of Norway's best composers as favourites--and the grandson of one of those composers as one of my favourite violinists. That, and the fact that all three have a habit of knocking my socks off (not surprising for Trond: the ability to knock the audiences' socks off seems to be a requirement for BSO violinists).

Sunday: I finally got back in the Academy computer lab. However, I arrived a full hour early: on weekends the lab doesn't open until 1:00 PM. I went over to Granville, where I wasted time on Facebook until just before 1:30, and then went back to Academy. I spent a couple hours there, tweaking my project, figuring things out and asking myself questions. Afterward, I went back to Granville again, where I spent the rest of the day.

When I met with Adrian a couple weeks ago to fix the white balance of one of the series for my project, we discussed what sorts of things I could include in the contextualizing statement. I told him about my discovery of Tchaikovsky writing to Rimsky-Korsakov and praising the Capriccio Espangnol and some other connections that I knew about and it got me to thinking: what other composer connections are there? I'm talking everything: composers writing to each other, being from the same city, rivalries--you name it. This week, I decided to see if I still had MindNode on my computer and, if so, map out the connections. Below is a screen shot of what I've got so far.

celebrating people I admire

I'm going to see one of my childhood icons perform next June!

Monday: I went to the SUNSCAD candidates' forum, which more or less didn't happen, as only one of two candidates showed up.

I then called Dal counselling services to see about setting up an appointment. Turns out, you have to set it up the day of if you want an appointment at the Dal campus.

I spent the rest of the day doing school work. That evening, one of Lynn's kids posted a photo on FB, with a caption talking about all that Lynn has been through in the last year (long story short, a lot) and wishing her a happy birthday. For most of the years that I've known Lynn I've looked up to her (those feelings gradually materialized over the first five or so years), and every so often something will come along that will remind me of said admiration (the best part is that she didn't do anything special to earn said admiration--just live her life and play the violin awesomely) and make me think about how lucky I am to know her. That caption was one such trigger, and I then went in search of awesome music to match my mood, which threatened to overwhelm me. Besides, I wanted to celebrate Lynn's birthday. Here are two of the pieces that I listened to:





These are not the recordings that I rocked out to that evening, though: my source was CBC Music, which is only available in Canada. This is the album that I listened to. If you're reading this in Canada, you can listen to it here on CBC Music. While the only-available-in-Canada factor sucks, it means that both Canucks and non-Canucks get to listen to Kristin Chenoweth's Glitter and be Gay, and who can argue with a voice like that--especially when its owner is so funny.

Tuesday: More schoolwork and prep for Wednesday.

In the evening, the Festival for Better Education arrived at its final stop, which was NSCAD, having marched to all the schools in Halifax and heard speakers at each one. Max Haiven and Sarah Trower (SUNSCAD president--this is her second year in that position) spoke at NSCAD, and I went to that part of the festival.

Wednesday: Once again, it was my group's turn to take the rest of the class through the week's chapter. Afterward, we each had an individual meeting with Adrian. I called Dal again and tried to set up an appointment for Thursday. No such luck. My meeting with Adrian went well--I had some questions, and I wanted to get a second opinion on the white balance of some of my photos (it's one of those things where one number can mean the difference between being too green or too magenta, and I can go back and forth and just about drive myself nuts trying to get the white balance just right). We ended up setting up an appointment for Monday to have a look at my images on the computers in the Photo Dept. computer lab.

Part of the afternoon was devoted to open studio, the other part being taken up by a guest speaker, Alan Griffiths, founder of Luminous Lint.

There was a GA that evening, but it was one of those times where a GA morphed into an info session--I don't even think quorum (four per cent of the student body--in NSCAD's case, that means forty students) was reached. They talked about the violence in Elsipogtog First Nation and what has happened since (neither the aboriginals nor SWN has budged) and about the bus trip some NSCADians took to that First Nation. Since hearing about the violence, I'd been trying to find out how it started, though I stayed away from news sources like CBC and CTV (some sources can be more than a little racist toward First Nations peoples). No such luck, so I asked at the GA. As I'd suspected, the violence was started by SWN trying to force out the protesters (typical, sadly). The closing of the Seeds Gallery was also discussed (SUNSCAD exec has had a really difficult time getting info as have the students in general--ahem--and SUNSCAD's phone calls haven't been returned). The drawing studio and woodshop on the first floor of the Granville Campus have been rented out, which means that classes were moved half-way through the semester, which is a big no-no. Some students have lost access to lockers and student work has been damaged. In other words, one major mistake after another. The higher-ups and those doing construction in NSCAD should know better. This is an art school, which means that there's artwork that students have laboured over for hours. Stuff that was done for school assignments, and I don't know how much of it had yet to be marked. Have any of the people who've done these things stopped to think about how much that would suck?? Okay, I'm done.

Thursday: I called Dal counselling once again, this time looking at setting up an appointment at NSCAD (one of the Dal counsellors comes to NSCAD every Tuesday). I got an email later that day with a time that was available, which I confirmed.

I spent the rest of the day doing work on my project.

Friday: More homework, including fiddling around with the white balance of another set of photos for my project and starting this week's reading. I also bought my first Neil Gaiman book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane. However, I had yet to find out just how poor I am right now. It was worth it, though, as I've heard nothing but good things about Neil's work and I'm a huge fan of his wife, Amanda Palmer, to whom Ocean is dedicated (insert fangirl squeal here): "to Amanda, who wanted to know." In fact, it's thanks to her that I wanted to read the book and have been waiting since said book came out for the waiting list to get down to a manageable size in the NB and Halifax library systems. I checked this evening, and said waiting list is finally down to the single digits in NB (eight holds, twenty copies), though as of today all twenty are checked out/in transit/on hold.

That day I discovered that the CBC Music holiday streams, Seasonal Favourites and Classical Holidays (my favourite), are now available, and I've been listening to the latter stream almost nonstop ever since.

Saturday: I continued the reading (though not without having to do battle with the NSCAD proxy server, which was cantankerous even at school--there may have been more than the allotted twelve people on the server), and Mom ordered tickets for both of us to see Raffi in June. When I was a kid, he was one of the musicians whose tapes I played endlessly, and I still have many of his songs memorized, which will come in handy when I see him live (OH, MY GOD!!!!!!!).

When I was little, I didn't think about what he was doing for the world (not surprising--I was a kid). Once I became a big kid, though, he kind of got shoved to the back of my mind, and I didn't listen to his music quite so much. But a year or two ago, I rediscovered him and learned about what he's been doing through his organization, Child Honouring, and my respect for him is now so high it's probably sitting on Mt. Everest. I'm a fan once again, but my appreciation for him has matured: I love his music, yes, but I also admire what he's doing to make the world a better one for kids. If you happen to stumble across this, Raffi (as this is a public blog, you never know who's going to read it), thank you for the music and for everything else you've done. Can't wait to see you in June! As the concert's in between the date when I finish at NSCAD (the last teaching day is April seventeenth) and my birthday (July eighteenth), I'm treating it as a graduation and early birthday present. Thanks, Mom!



If you listen to only one of his songs, make it this one (referenced in the above interview). Fans like me--those who grew up with his music, are now in their twenties and thirties and who've perhaps passed their love for his music on to their kids--are known as Belugagrads, which is a reference to this song. And yes, I still know many of the lyrics.





This is the title track from an album that I used to play a lot (I probably still have the tape somewhere):



When I listened to this song Saturday night, I recognized the melody from somewhere else, but couldn't place it. I went over the melody in my head on the way home and turns out, it's the tune from Arkansas Traveler.





I admit that as I was choosing videos for this post, I was singing along. Yes, I do still have many of the words memorized--which will come in handy when I go to the concert.

Sunday: I finished the reading and edited photos for my APC project. At this point, I'm simply tweaking the colour and contrast--starting on Wednesday I'll be working with the images in Adobe Premiere.

computers: awesome when they work, frustrating when they don't

This week was one of those where I blinked and it was over.

Monday: I've been having problems accessing the school proxy server from my apartment (one of the books we're reading in APC is Of Cigarettes, High Heels and Other Interesting Things: An Introduction to Semiotics, which is available through the NSCAD server), so I took my computer to the Port Campus to try to get the issue fixed. Unfortunately the server was down that day, so the IT guy, Tim, had his hands full and told me to come back the next day.

I then headed to the Granville Campus and to OSAS on the second floor: I desperately needed to talk with someone about the stuff that happened last Sunday. And this was one of those times when talking with Mom just wouldn't do (she's awesome, but there are times when I need to go to someone else). I met with Christina Warren, who replaced Bernadette Kehoe when Bernadette accepted a job at NSCC in Dartmouth this past summer. I started whimpering immediately as I told Christina what was going on. That turned into full-on sobbing which came and went throughout much of my time in her office. By the time our conversation turned to other things, I was feeling much better. I also told her a bit about myself--turns out she's an amateur violinist, too, so she completely understood me when I made a music analogy (I do that: because I've studied so many different performing and visual art disciplines, I see connections between them and will sometimes point out said connections)--and signed my page of the 2012 edition of Free Coffee. Christina wants to meet all the students who contributed to the publication last year, and I was the first. As someone who's never been asked for her autograph before, it made me feel like a star.

I spent the rest of the day hanging out in the student lounge and the SUNSCAD office.

Tuesday: I went back to Tim's office. Turns out, the port number in the URL was wrong.

My student loan had finally come in that morning. However, it was only the federal portion, which is way smaller than the provincial part. I didn't notice the memo saying "320 CANADA" in my online account info, so I thought that that was all I was getting for this semester--and that I needed to redo my budget, which I did.

Wednesday: The week I've been waiting for: after going through the week's reading we presented our ideas for our independent study projects. Mine will be about the importance of dance in my life. I'd originally planned to print the photos out, but because music is such a big component of the project, Adrian suggested showing the photos on a screen or with a projector and include the music with each photo. So a photo inspired by The Ballad of Revolt would be accompanied by that work. As someone who doesn't have anything to show photos on besides her computer, I was concerned about the logistics of displaying the project that way until Adrian said that NSCAD has projectors and monitors that I can use. He also talked about the cantankerousness of the NSCAD proxy server. Apparently it only lets up to twelve people log in at one time and it's less cantankerous on-campus.

That night the internet suddenly disappeared and there was nothing I could do to get it back.

Thursday: That morning I still wasn't able to access the internet, so after calling the NB student loan office and finding out that yes, I would be receiving more money in a couple days, I called EastLink (my service provider). They had me try a few things and then suggested that it might be the router, which I then replaced (free). I went back to my apartment, got the router activated and... still nothing. They then got a guy to come over to my apartment that evening. There went my plans to attend the Queer Collective meeting at NSCAD... He tried just about everything possible, and couldn't get the internet to work.

That afternoon, I visited the campaign office of Labi Kousoulis, who's the Liberal candidate for Halifax Citadel - Sable Island. I'd recently found out that yes, even though I'm a New Brunswicker and all my government ID has my NB address, I can vote in the NS provincial election. I just need to provide two pieces of NS ID, and my apartment lease, EastLink bill and student ID card count. I told one of the women there about the things that I'm concerned about, mainly education, NSCAD and the NDP's treatment of both. I also told her how impressed I am by the Liberals' education platform: this is the kind of stuff the NDP should be doing. I left with a magnet, brochure and an election sign--my first (it's totally fine to put them in apartment windows, though because my apartment's so high up it's more for my own enjoyment than anything else: soon after I taped it to my window, I looked up at said window from outside the building. All I could see was a white shape. However, when my building is casting a shadow on the side that I live, I can make out the red on the sign.).

Friday: I called Apple Support to sort out my internet problems. Because the AppleCare expired on my Mac earlier this month, I had to fork over some cash (less than a hundred, thankfully) and because I don't have a credit card, they made an exception and accepted my debit card. The issue was remedied by deleting a folder and then restarting the computer, and I wrote down the procedure just in case this happens again--and because I hate having to ask other people to solve simple tech problems for me.

I spent the afternoon at my favourite coffee shop, reading the chapter for APC, which at times was well beyond awesome.

Saturday: Another afternoon spent at my favourite coffee shop. This time I started putting together the playlist for my APC project. Whittling a playlist down is not easy when it contains so many awesome tracks.

Sunday: I finally started photographing for my project, having set a deadline of tomorrow. I also edited the photos, which presented the usual challenge of how to translate what I see in my head onto the computer screen.

Today was the BSO's first concert of the season--their one hundred and eighteenth, which at times is hard to believe--until I remind myself that they're the oldest community orchestra in the US. Congratulations, guys--and go violins! The first piece on the program was Mendelssohn's Hebrides Overture, which is one of my favourites.



This video, Maestro Richman's breakdown of what's going on this season, makes me ridiculously proud to be a fan of the Bangor Symphony. By the way, next May marks ten years since I became a fan.

I am artist, hear me roar

This week was extremely busy, crazy and rather stressful, but I think I'm mostly recovered from it.

Monday: Monday was the beginning of Assessment Week at NBCCD (this week is their March Break).

When I got to school that afternoon, Keven, NSCAD's daytime security guard, told me that the reason why NS' "spring" break is at the time that it is is because that's the week in which students where committing suicide the most. So while it makes sense to have the break during that week, universities (including NSCAD) are still in midterm mode, so students come back with a few more exams or midterm projects to do. I like NB's break schedule a lot better.

We watched another movie during class: Blade Runner (I can't remember which version).

Tuesday: I spent the day tweaking the first project for Graphics, coming up with ideas for the second one and doing the readings for Obsolescence. I finished the afternoon by taking the files to Staples and getting them printed (which was an adventure).

We had another GA that evening. FUNSCAD I (the teachers' union) could go on strike on Wednesday. If they go on strike, SUNSCAD will hold a rally on Friday. One of the issues that FUNSCAD I is fighting is the fact that the administration is trying to prevent part-time and regular part-time faculty (part-time has three different levels, and from there it gets rather complex) from being on-campus outside the regular semester, which doesn't bode well for students who want to meet with a part-timer in the summer. If this is anything like FUNSCAD II's almost-strike, Tuesday night is going to be a sleepless one for me: I, like my fellow students and the faculty, don't want the strike to happen.

Wednesday: I went to school early to put my book together (Jeff wanted them bound).

He met with us individually to critique our first projects and discuss our ideas for the second project. My crit went very well.

Thursday: Thursday was a working class, which made me very happy because I wasn't as far along with the project as I would've liked.

I finally finished my homework for Friday that night (the usual readings for Obsolescence--this week's set was the last for that course--and writing for Writing for the Arts).

Friday: The usual discussion of the week's readings. At the end of class, Bob went over our proposals for the final focus essay (two thousand words, which will make this essay the longest I've written for a college or university assignment--bring it) and suggested ways in which we could take the essay further.

I did my presentation for Writing for the Arts, and I think it was one of my best presentations at either NBCCD or NSCAD. My theme was Marcel Duchamp and readymades. I gave a biography of him and then branched out, talking about the Fountain, his paintings, and artists who do similar work: Gene Nichols (who'll use just about anything to create rhythm: "I am addicted to sound, all sound. That's what gets me to thinking about everything as music.") and Andy Warhol (who used cheap, readily-available techniques to churn out multiples of his works). I couldn't help but get excited: this is the kind of thing that I live for. This is why I'm an artist.

After class, I discussed my idea for the WftA show with Anna. My idea was to take a bunch of photos around NSCAD, print them, arrange the prints with an envelope and take a photo of that. Title: Love Letters to NSCAD. While my idea was good, Anna felt it could be a bit stronger. She suggested actually mailing the photos to the Board of Governors (BoG) and NSCAD's acting president. We both got rather excited about the project, and Anna was thrilled that I was taking on a project like that: it couldn't be more timely.

That evening, I posted on the SUNSCAD Facebook group, explaining my idea, asking who's on the BoG and how I could contact them. I got the info, and then another comment suggesting that I send photos to the HFX Chamber of Commerce, as business organizations would be negatively affected in a big way if the university went under and the municipal government, as they have been silent throughout the whole mess at NSCAD.

One of the things I love about NSCAD is how they encourage students to be political. To quote the manifesto, "NSCAD's ability to nurture critical, political and philosophical thought continually sets us apart. It cultivates the artists and critical thinkers needed in today's society." I noticed that atmosphere right away, and while I soaked it up last semester, it was only in my finals that it really started to worm its way into my art. My approach to my education at NSCAD was always as another set of tools in my creative toolbox, and as someone who's become more political in the last four or so years, I appreciate the university's contributions to my art practice. Thanks, NSCAD!

Saturday: After such a crazy week (I was up to my eyeballs in homework every evening and stressing about whether I'd be able to get it all done on time), I tried to take the day as slowly as possible while still getting work done--and listening to Parsifal. By the way, the Met's current production was directed by Fraçois Girard, who directed The Red Violin. Oh, and he's a Canuck!

Sunday: I spent the afternoon working on my Graphics homework.

The BSO played a concert today. Feels like they just did one, but it was back in January. You know you've been busy when... Today's concert was the one that, if I lived in or around Bangor, I would've gone to (the cheap tickets are fairly affordable on a student budget--and yes, I'd put up with the crappiest seats in the world if it meant a couple hours of listening to one of my favourite orchestras). They played Vaughan-Williams' Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis (one of my favourite pieces), Suite No. 1 from Respighi's Ancient Airs and Dances and Vivaldi's Four Seasons (another favourite). All three pieces are rather strings-heavy, which makes me happy. I love a full orchestra--and when the BSO is going full-tilt, they can knock my socks off--but there's just something about a beautiful string section. The fact that the BSO's violin section is beyond awesome, reminds me why that instrument is one of my favourites and makes me proud to play the violin doesn't hurt, either. Long story short: BSO, I love you!